The Advocate reports that “two women will be listed as parents on the birth certificate of a baby born this week in New Jersey, one of the first implications of a state supreme court ruling that gives same-sex couples access to the same rights as married couples.”
This parentage decision, by a New Jersey family court, is not so surprising, given that even prior to the Supreme Court ruling, New Jersey lesbian couples have obtained pre-birth court orders to put both partners on birth certificates. The first instance of this happening when one woman conceived using her own egg and donor sperm was in July 2005. Two years before that, in early 2003, a couple who conceived by one woman donating an egg to her partner (and using anonymous donor sperm) obtained such an order (followed, two months later, by the similar case of myself and my partner). What the Supreme Court ruling will hopefully do, though, is eliminate the court process for each and every case, putting same-sex parents on the same footing as opposite-sex ones.
It may not be as simple as that, however. The National Center for Lesbian Rights warned, in speaking of a California law that allows both same-sex parents to be put immediately on a birth certificate:
Even if you are successful in having your partner’s name put on the birth certificate, you should still obtain a court judgment declaring both of you to be your child’s legal parent. This is extremely important. If you do not have such a judgment, it is possible that you will experience difficulties in having your legal parent-child relationship honored when traveling to other states or when dealing with the federal government.
There is already one case in which another state, Virginia, is refusing to recognize the legal parentage of the civil union spouse where the second parent never received a judgment of parentage and is asserting her parentage based solely on the fact that the child was born into a Vermont civil union. We also are concerned that federal agencies, such as the Social Security Administration, may require court judgments before they honor the parentage of children born into California domestic partnerships.
For these reasons, NCLR is strongly recommending that all registered domestic partners that have children after January 1, 2005 still go through a court adoption or parentage proceeding and obtain a judgment declaring both of you to be your child’s legal parents. Judgments of parentage or adoption must be honored by other states under the full faith and credit clause of the U.S. constitution.
I’m assuming (though I’m not a lawyer), that a similar warning applies to Jersey couples. One more thing that hurts this lesbian mom’s brain. Bottom line, if you’re a same-sex couple expecting a child in New Jersey (or, frankly, anywhere in the U. S.), speak with an attorney.
Here’s a conundrum for ya. We are hoping to have baby #2 here in Canada, where we are legally married and I will be on the birth certificate. Because of that, I don’t know that it’s possible to get a decree of parentage of any sort up here because it’s not necessary. Sooo, we’ll need to get it in the US but I have no idea where. I suppose we’ll need to call a lawyer when the time comes, sigh.
Oh, that’s a good question. I have no idea how you’d go about that, but a lawyer seems like the right first step.
My partner and I are beginning the process. We live in NJ but have not registered for domestic partnership, and due to other legal complications (DOMA without getting into too many details) and we do not plan on doing so until it would be recognized at the federal level. One of us will be the genetic-mom with the other the birth mom using an anonymous sperm donor. If we both fail to sign away our parentage rights during the egg-donation and biological-surrogacy, aren’t we both legal and biological parents regardless of the legal standing of our relationship???
That’s a good question, and you should ask a lawyer to be sure. My partner and I did the same thing, and had to get a court order or only she (gestational mom) would be legal. That was prior to NJ recognizing two lesbian moms at once as a matter of course, and prior to civil unions, so I’m not sure what the current situation is.
FYI, the National Center for Lesbian Rights recommends that even if the state recognizes you, you get an adoption or court order anyway, to avoid possible problems when traveling out of state. Apparently, this is more widely recognized than a birth certificate.
My partner and I were married in MA and are domestic partners in NYC, but we still went through 2nd parent adoption in NY as we were told that it was the only way to really protect all of us. I’m about to start TTC our 2nd child- I’ll carry again- but this time it will be my partner’s egg. According to our RE and our attorney, my partner will still need to adopt the baby because regardless of whether or not she signs anything [maintaining or signing away rights] NY state does not recognize surragacy- instead, they view it as a donation and legally the baby belongs to the gestational mother.
From what I understand, until the world really changes, nothing is as secure as 2nd parent adoption.
Just my 2 cents