RebelDad is calling upon people to write parenting manifestos of 500 words or less. (Thanks to ParentHacks and Republic of T for the heads up.) Here’s mine, a work in progress.
Your primary role is to help your children realize their positive capabilities—emotional, intellectual, and physical. These capabilities may or may not match your own, and it is important not to have expectations about them. Your children are not you.
Every child is different. No parenting advice can cover every child in every situation, and sometimes you have to wing it. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for help.
A large part of parenting consists of explaining the world to your children. An equally large part consists of listening while they explain their worlds to you.
In twenty years you won’t remember getting the laundry done. You will remember sharing a favorite book or a softball game or a sunset with your children.
Treat your children with respect, and expect the same in return. Rigid obedience is not the same as respect.
Be aware, when you say or do things in their presence, that children pick up on far more than we ever realize.
You must be a role model, but must also be a provider of other role models and teachers. You cannot embody or know everything.
You will make mistakes. Parenting, like growing up, is a continuous learning process. Don’t be afraid to show your children you aren’t perfect. It helps them realize that neither are they, but that’s not an obstacle to being a good person.
When parenting as a couple, remember that you each bring a different set of skills and experiences to the table. This is both a blessing and a curse. Learn to talk about it when you disagree. Remember you also have a relationship with each other as well as with your children.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Remember to take care of yourself along the way, or you’ll be no use to anyone.
Sing to your children, even if you can’t carry a tune. Read to them. Play games. Tell jokes and laugh at theirs. Wonder at the stars.
The most important parenting skill is love.
