If the L Word Characters Ran the Government

Maybe I shouldn’t have watched the L Word replay the other night after listening to the State of the Union. It got me thinking: what if the characters on the show were members of the U. S. government? What roles would they play? Here are my suggestions; comments and additional ideas welcome. (Warning: Spoilers below.)

• President: Bette Porter. Power jobs and power suits make her a natural. Also, she just had sex with her TA, which is almost like having sex with an intern.
• Vice President: Tina Kennard, because she and Bette still make a pair.
• Presidential Press Secretary: Alice Pieszecki, with her background in media and journalism.
• Secretary of State: Marina Ferrer. Her linguistic skills will be useful in foreign affairs.
• Secretary of the Treasury: Helena Peabody. She may be cut off from the family fortune now, but has lots of experience handling large sums.
• Secretary of Defense: upcoming character Tasha Williams, who served as an officer in the National Guard.
• Secretary of Labor: Shane McCutcheon, the only one with a secure job between seasons.
• Secretary of Education: Phyllis Kroll. Running California University was great preparation.
• Secretary of the Interior: Kit Porter, who always does such a nice job with the interior of The Planet.
• Secretary of Transportation: Papi, with her tricked-out limo. (Deputy Secretary is Max Sweeney, who showed us in Episode 4.3 that he knows a thing or two about car engines.)
• Attorney General: Joyce Wischnia, because we need a kick-ass lawyer in the job.
• CIA Director: Jenny Schecter, who’s been practicing creepy stalking skills.
• Head of the National Endowment for the Arts: upcoming character Jodi Lerner, direct from her stint as Artist in Residence at California University.

The official presidential anthem would, of course, be “L to the Chief.”