If same-sex couples could enter into covenant marriages, a conservative, ultra-binding form of marriage legal in some states, would this help promote the conservative vision of stronger marriages and fewer divorces?
That’s the premise of the article by William Saletan, Slate’s national correspondent, in today’s Washington Post. He writes:
Can you imagine a more powerful influence than finding out that the gay couple down the block has a stronger marriage than you do? Here’s a chance to get more marriage, less cohabitation and less divorce.
Saletan is being facetious—at least I assume he doesn’t really believe these two movements will come together. His main concern is to show the discrepancy between the conservative emphasis on marital values and their dislike of same-sex marriage. Saletan compares covenant marriages with same-sex marriages and unions, and makes the wonderful point that “More blue-state gay couples than red-state straight couples are signing up for as much commitment as the law allows.”
This builds on an earlier piece, in which he suggests shifting the grounds of the same-sex marriage debate. Instead of making it about whether one is for or against “homosexuality,” we should frame it in terms of whether one is for or against marriage and its values of commitment, stability, fidelity, and community. Then, he says, it’s easy to convince the public that “If you want family values, the simplest thing to do is to let people form families.”
I don’t believe it is as simple as Saletan does, though he has a good tactical point. Debating the morality of same-sex relationships is like pounding our heads into a wall. Neither side will give up its views on that score. A more fruitful approach to marketing same-sex marriage may be to start from where our values do overlap.
I’m not quite as ready as Saletan seems to be, however, to give up calling same-sex marriage a simple matter of equal human rights. Still, I find his approach thought provoking, even if we are not in agreement on all counts. Saletan is a Republican, albeit a pro-same-sex-marriage and anti-Bush one. Since he stands closer to the conservative camp than I do, he may have a better sense of what messages will finally get through to them. He’s worth a read.
