Parent Hex: Harry Potter Spells for Parents

I suspect traffic across the blogosphere will be low today as people lock themselves away to read through Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I thought it would be appropriate, however, to publish a heretofore lost list of charms and spells that came to light only recently when a scholar journeying through King’s Cross Station, London found a manuscript crumpled next to the Information Booth in front of Platforms 9 and 10, apparently dropped by a fellow traveler. The folio is titled Parent Hex: Survival Spells for Parents and Other Caregivers.

• Cocodissimulatio Charm: Causes any food to taste like chocolate.
• Mucosus Recessum Charm: Causes nasal excretions to withdraw into a person’s nose.
• Ursinvenio Charm: When applied to a teddy bear or other stuffed animal, causes it to emit a loud growling sound when lost.
• Expecto Progenitum Spell: An elaboration of the Accio Summoning Charm, this spell causes one’s child to appear. Unclear at what distance this works or if it can operate using the Floo network or Portkeys.
• Fabulam Repetopeto Charm: Causes a book to read itself out loud over and over. Skillful wizards can make it inaudible to themselves.
• Vestitus Prudens Spell: Makes the victim appear to be wearing long pants and a sweater, although the person is unaware of the change.
• Immotus Spell: A lesser version of Petrificus Totalus, this stops victims from fidgeting, though they can still move slowly.
• Altitudo Monitio Charm: Causes flashing lights and a loud hooting sound to occur whenever the victim is near a dropoff like a staircase or cliff.
• Odoratum Desisto Charm: Removes the smell from an object.
• Dormitus Spell: Makes the victim fall asleep. An advanced spell, mastered by only a few.

Yeah. I’m a geek. Thanks to the Harry Potter Encyclopedia and MuggleNet for information about actual spells in the books (and with apologies to Parent Hacks).

Question for readers: What spell from the books would you have found most useful recently and why? Leave a comment.