Financial guru and out lesbian Suze Orman offers her advice on financial lessons for children. She claims many parents inadvertently send negative messages to their children, including the following:
Be happy to go to work. . . . You tell your kids: “Oh honey, I hate that I need to leave you, but I have to go to work so I can make money.” True as that may be, let’s deconstruct this from the kid’s perspective: They now know to hate work and money.
She has a point, in that “hate” is a pretty strong term, and kids of a certain age will associate work and money with the resentment of not having that parent around all day. At the same time, I know my partner often explains to our son (and I repeat as well) that while she misses him, she has to go to work in order to earn money for food, or toys, or whatever makes a good example at the moment. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to express regret over leaving, but also to explain that the reason has to do with earning money to support our family.
Orman has other advice that seems sound, though, including letting kids spend some money as well as save it, and not raiding their piggy banks when you’re short on cash. She also weighs in on the controversial topic of allowances, recommending you only give them “in exchange for something [children] did, like chores.” (For a differing opinion, which recommends offering money only for extraordinary chores, not regular ones, see Should your kids get an allowance?)
What do you think of Orman’s advice about work? How do you or did you explain to your young children why you go to work? What happens when you don’t, in fact, love your job?
(For more on kids and money, see Money and Kids in LGBT Families by Paula and Make Our Kids Rich? by Rich, both at Queercents.)
When I leave the house each morning and the kidlets start in with the “I want you to stay home today” stuff, I always point out to them that its a responsibility I have to go to work so our family will have the money we need to do the things we have to and to be able to save up for things we want. I have always tried to not give that message of hating work, because I don’t, but I don’t exactly *love* it either. I try to have them understand that work is means to an end– our real business is being a family.