CBS’s The Amazing Race will feature a lesbian couple for the first time when it starts its new season November 4, reports After Ellen. The couple, 49-year-old Kate Lewis and 65-year-old Pat Hendrickson, are both Episcopalian ministers, and should be fun to watch, especially as they compete against couples half their age and a pair of “dating Goths.”
Still, I don’t have to turn on the TV to find an amazing race with lesbians in it. And the mom factor adds a few degrees of difficulty. A sample day last week, for instance, went something like this:
- Get up and attempt to complete shower before son wakes.
- Still dripping water, go into his room when he calls and herd him into the bathroom for his morning routine. Gently put aside the three books and four toys he picks up along the way.
- Dash back to own bathroom and try to finish dressing before son does.
- Hope there’s milk in the fridge for breakfast. Keep son from dumping entire box of granola into his cereal bowl.
- Realize there are only 15 minutes left in which to brush teeth (own and son’s), use the facilities, make sure son washes his hands after doing the same, and drive to son’s music class.
- Dance. Sing. Generally make like the Red Sox bullpen. (Go Sox!)
- In the next 45 minutes: Wrangle now-dancing son back into car. Drive to bagel shop for lunch since that’s faster than going home. Find parking spot two blocks away. Shepherd son on random walk to bagel shop. Order bagels, eat, make another bathroom stop, and get son to school only three minutes late.
- Drive home. Throw laundry in washer. Blog for two hours.
- Grab keys to go pick up son. Realize laundry is still in washer. Bolt to laundry room and throw into dryer.
- Drive back to school (obeying all traffic regulations). Explain to son that we can’t stay and play on the playground in the rain.
- Back home again. Check e-mail while son has snack. Assist on Lego spaceship construction project, treasure-map drawing, and major fire-and-rescue operation involving Tonka action figures and a teddy bear.
- Nuke leftovers for dinner. Partner is out of town on business, so we don’t have to wait till she gets home.
- More Lego creations, a video, and upstairs for another round of toothbrushes and toilets. Make mental note to clean up cat hairball in the hallway.
- Read bedtime story. And another. And one more.
- Sing bedtime song, a form of musical improv based on son’s whim of the evening. (“Mommy, I want a song about a pumpkin, a magnifying glass, and an airplane.”)
- Sit down to blog again while watching the Sox beat the stuffing out of the Rockies. Breathe a sigh, knowing I’ve made it through another day of the Homosexual Agenda.
- Remember there’s unfolded laundry in the dryer.
