Iowa, Connecticut, Vermont Marriage Forms Not as Gender Neutral as Might Appear

Three of the four states to enact marriage equality for same-sex couples are ignoring the existence of those with two moms or two dads.

On the marriage license applications for Connecticut, Iowa, and Vermont* (PDF’s), applicants are asked to enter their names, with no requirement that one be “groom” and one be “bride.” So far so good.

Then the applicants are asked for their “Father’s Name” and “Mother’s Name.”

You see the problem. As I pointed out earlier, before Iowa issued its new forms, what if the person getting married has two mothers or two fathers?

I am proud to say that Massachusetts has gotten it right, however. It asks for “Name of Father/Parent” and “Name of Mother/Parent.” How simple is that?

(It appears that California is also more open minded about couples’ parents, based on the sample licenses (PDF) distributed to county clerks on 10/3/08. (The samples were post-dated to 11/08, however, but it looks like they were distributed pre-Prop 8.) There seems to be some county-by-county variation, however. The license application currently on the Los Angeles County site (PDF), for example, has only, “Father’s Name” and “Mother’s Name,” but appears to be dated 7/08, when same-sex couples could marry. The current application for San Francisco, however, dated 3/09, has “Father/Parent” and “Mother/Parent.”)

Of course, straight people with same-sex parents exist even where marriage for same-sex couples is illegal. States should make the “Mother” and “Father” sections of the form more neutral in any case. I know, that’s unlikely to happen, if only because of bureaucratic inefficiency, never mind bias. At the very least, however, the states revising their forms to include same-sex couples should take the additional small but inclusive step of recognizing that many people have already grown up with same-sex parents.

*Vermont has yet to issue revised marriage license application forms. I am basing my observations on the version of the marriage bill passed by the Vermont House and Senate, which includes a sample form and states, “the application shall be in substantially the following form.”