For Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, it seemed appropriate to mention two recent Internet postings that highlight issues of race and parenting.
Last week, gay dads Kaleb and Kordale, who are Black, posted a photo on their Twitter feed of them getting their kids ready for school in the morning, and it sparked a flurry of negative and positive reactions. At MUSED magazine, Beyond Steven writes:
From my view, this is a beautiful image of two strong fathers taking care of their children; however, Black Twitter didn’t see it that way. . . . It wasn’t the negative comments that surprised me, but the positive ones: “Finally a black gay couple.”
He observes that most of the nice comments note that this was a Black gay couple and “that it was nice to see black men taking care of children.” One can sense his exasperation with those who have so rarely seen either.
This comes on the heels of the photo of straight dad Doyin Richards helping his daughter with her hair in the morning, which went viral on Facebook and Twitter and engendered many racist comments about Black men and fatherhood. (I first saw his post about the incident at Dads & Families, but Richards originally posted it at his own blog, Daddy Doin’ Work.) Richards also looks askance at those who praise him too highly for doing what he sees as his job as a parent. He says: “If you want to create a statue for me for taking care of my daughters, create one for the moms who are doing the same damn thing everyday for their kids without receiving a ‘Thank you’ or an ‘Ooooh’ or ‘Ahhhh.'”
Whenever we limit our views of what it means to be a parent, a couple, a person of a particular race or ethnicity, a person of a particular gender, or any combination thereof, we limit our human possibilities and those of our children. We should thank people like Kaleb, Kordale, and Richards for reminding us to break down those limits, while also realizing that it is everyone’s responsibility to do so.
On this day when we honor a great civil rights hero in Martin Luther King, Jr., let us each renew our commitment to that goal.
(After I finished this post, I saw Denene Miller’s piece, “Teaching Kids About Martin Luther King, Jr.,” at Parent & Child. It’s definitely worth a read, bringing home the very personal reasons King was, and is, important.)
