I know, I know. Few of us who used assisted reproduction really wielded turkey basters. But to me, Thanksgiving is inextricably tied to family—the one I came from and the one my spouse and I created—so the iconic if erroneous turkey baster is as good a symbol as any.Thanksgiving has always been the biggest annual celebration for my family of origin. We’re Jewish, but not particularly observant, so Thanksgiving, a holiday that we actually got vacation time for, was both convenient and happily food-oriented. The past few Thanksgivings, now that both of my parents have died, have carried a bittersweet taste, but the occasion remains dear to me. We’ll still be meeting at my brother’s house with a small group of family and friends, my fiery “cranbanero” (cranberry-habanero) sauce, and far too many pies.
I know that for many in the queer community, holiday gatherings with families of origin and in-laws can bring tension rather than joy. I hope those of you in such situations are able to prioritize your own well-being and that of your children, however that manifests itself for you. May you find strength and love in the family you chose, if not also in the families from which you came.
Thanksgiving, of course, also represents a colonial invasion, and I hope we can all use the occasion to educate ourselves and others about this part of its history and to recommit ourselves to building bridges across cultures, races, religions, and ethnicities.
Posting will be light here for a few days as I spend time with my family.
Wishing you all a very happy holiday, no matter how you created your family or how you are celebrating this week.