Painting the Picket Fence in Rainbows: Parenting from “The L Word” to “The L Word: Generation Q”

(Originally published with slight variation as my Mombian newspaper column.) How did the parenting storylines on The L Word: Generation Q compare to those in the original groundbreaking queer television drama, The L Word, and what do the parenting storylines of both series tell us about the changing representation of LGBTQ parents?

The main parenting storyline of the original series, which ran from 2004 to 2009, centered on characters Bette (Jennifer Beals) and Tina (Laurel Holloman). In Season One, they go through various antics while searching for a sperm donor—an overused trope among shows that depicted two-woman couples in the mid-2000s. Fast forward through some break-ups and reunions, and they have baby Angie in Season Two.

We see only a few storylines related to Angie, however, notably one in which her moms try to get her into an elite preschool by showing that they’re the most diverse family vying for the spot. (That same storyline was used by ABC’s Modern Family two years later for gay dads Mitchell and Cameron and their daughter Lily.) In a later season, too, Bette and Tina try to adopt, but this falls through.

Character Helena Peabody (Rachel Shelley) also had children, but they didn’t live with her and played a minimal part in the show.

About transgender character Max’s (Daniela Sea’s) pregnancy, the less said, the better. While a trans man being pregnant could make a fine storyline, Max’s pregnancy was handled problematically (as was much about the character in general) and only served to underscore the character’s otherness.

Shane (Katherine Moennig) also acted for several episodes as guardian of her nine-year-old half-brother Shay. We saw Shane struggle with that responsibility, though, and Shay eventually went back to live with their father.

The new show has brought parenting even more fully into more characters’ lives, as all of the returning cast members are now dealing with children in some fashion. (Minor spoilers for the season follow.) The new cast also includes Angie (Jordan Hull), now 16, with storylines of her own. Bette and Tina, though no longer together, are both very involved in her life. We find out, too, that Angie has a crush on her best friend Jordi (Sophie Giannamore),—a sign that we’re moving beyond fear of perpetuating the myth that LGBTQ parents will create LGBTQ kids. Statistically, some of us will have them, though, and that’s just fine.

Additionally, we see Alice (Leisha Hailey), also from the original series, now in a relationship with Nat (Stephanie Allynne, a real-life queer mom), who is sharing custody of her two kids with her ex, Gigi (Sepideh Moafi). Alice tries to learn parenting skills like dealing with a sick child or packing snacks for a swim meet, while also figuring out how she fits into the family.

And Shane, who struggled in the original show to balance her guardianship responsibilities with the freedom she wanted in her life, is facing the same struggle again because her ex-wife Quiara, who wants to reunite, is pregnant. Shane must decide whether to help her parent.

Shane is hesitant, but after advising Angie on her relationship with Jordi, sees that there’s something rewarding about parenting. She says she’ll do it. After Quiara’s first ultrasound, however, Shane is afraid that she isn’t feeling the deep emotions a prospective parent should. Quiara wisely advises, “You’ll feel exactly what you’re supposed to feel on your own time.” That’s as good a piece of parenting advice as I’ve ever heard.

Parenting wisdom even among the show’s melodrama shouldn’t surprise viewers. New showrunner and co-executive producer Marja-Lewis Ryan and her wife had a baby last year, and original showrunner and LW:GQ co-executive producer Ilene Chaiken is a mom as well.

While LW:GQ will never be focused on parenting in the same way as, say, Modern Family or The Fosters, Freeform’s 2013-18 drama about a two-mom couple and their five kids, it feels natural that several of the LW:GQ characters have or want kids or are trying to decide if they do—and that we’re seeing more parenting-related scenes and storylines. Advances in acceptance, legal protections, and reproductive technologies have made it increasingly easy for queer people to become parents (even as we recognize that out LGBTQ parents have existed for decades and our full history goes back, arguably, to Sappho). And a 2019 study by Family Equality has shown that 63 percent of LGBTQ millennials—the “Generation Q” of the show’s title—are considering starting or growing their families.

The show’s writers recognize this shift. In the season finale, real-life writer and professor Roxane Gay guest stars as herself, being interviewed by Alice on her talk show. Alice asks her, “Can you be a bad queer?” referencing Gay’s book Bad Feminist, which calls for broadening what “feminist” means to include those who may not adhere to some perfect ideal. Gay answers, “Historically, in the queer community, we’ve tried to resist heteronormative ideas. And, so, these days, to be a bad queer is probably to want a wife and two kids and a picket fence.”

We see the tension of that in Shane, the least conformist of the original characters, as she grapples with whether she can be a parent and still be herself. Yet Bette, Tina, Alice, Nat, and Gigi are also parents. Are they “bad queers”? Hardly.

But the definition of “queer” increasingly includes parents as well as those who aren’t, by choice or circumstance. It makes sense, then, that even on a queer show that’s not “about” parenting, we’re seeing more parents and more everyday parenting moments. Yes, some of us may want a picket fence—but we can paint it in rainbow colors.