Beckett Cypher, son of musician Melissa Etheridge and filmmaker Julie Cypher, has died at age 21.
Etheridge tweeted yesterday to say that Beckett had died after a struggle with opioid addiction. “My heart is broken,” she wrote.
The death of a child is an unfathomable loss, and my heart goes out to the entire family.
The singer had been broadcasting daily concerts from her home during the pandemic; some of them included her daughter Bailey, who is also her child with Julie Cypher. Etheridge has two younger children from her relationship with Tammy Lynn Michaels as well.
Etheridge was one of the first lesbian celebrities, and the first celebrity lesbian mom, whom I knew about when I was first coming out. Etheridge and Julie Cypher were aware, it seems, of their position as one of the few widely visible LGBTQ-headed families, and they tried to use their visibility for good. Back in 2000, they appeared on 60 Minutes along with David Crosby, Beckett and Bailey’s biological father, and his wife Jan, to talk about their family. “I do not believe that my children will be wanting in any way because they didn’t have a father in the home every single day,” Etheridge said. “What they have in the home is two loving parents. I think that puts them ahead of the game.” All of them also appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone that year. The article inside gives insight into the prurient fascination people had about who was the children’s father and how they were created—but also just how much like any other family they were, with a living room full of toys and half-full juice glasses.
Some people will now, I fear, point to Beckett’s death and try to use it as an example of why LGBTQ people shouldn’t be allowed to be parents. That’s a load of %&*#. We LGBTQ parents and our children are just as good—and just as flawed—as any other humans, and civil rights should not depend upon our perfection, but upon our humanity. Furthermore, we shouldn’t speculate on the reasons behind Beckett’s addiction in any case. His addiction is for his family to discuss as they wish, but not for us, except insofar as opioid addiction is a widespread problem in our society that we should all work to eliminate.
I wish Etheridge, Cypher, and all their family and friends as much healing as is possible.