The end of this season’s The L Word: Generation Q brought us the next step in Micah and Maribel’s baby-making quest—plus celebrity lesbian moms! But what did I think was the best parenting storyline of the season?
Spoilers ahead.
Maribel and Micah
This episode saw the continuation—and maybe the end—of Micah and Maribel’s ongoing attempt to start a family through donor insemination, but I found the depiction of them here to be immensely frustrating. First, although the majority of the episode revolves around Bette and Tina’s wedding, where all of the other characters are, Micah and Maribel are home alone, trying to inseminate. This is perhaps not surprising given that they’ve been pretty isolated from storylines involving the other main characters this season, despite the Thanksgiving announcement that they’d found a sperm donor. The writers could have found a way to integrate things better, say, by having them attend the wedding but need to inseminate while they’re there because of the timing. (True story: When my eggs needed to be harvested so they could be fertilized for my spouse to carry, I needed to give myself an injection at a very exact time to release them. I happened to be in a business meeting then, so I had to excuse myself to go shoot up in the bathroom.)
The initial scene between the two is actually pretty cute, though, as they discuss baby names and Micah lifts the canister, saying, “Here you go, little fella,” to which Maribel responds, “You do realize it’s not a baby yet, right?” The two then wax poetic as they envision their future family baking Christmas cookies and giving the kids baths.
Micah extracts the vial of sperm from the cryo container. Both he and Maribel are baffled by the instructions, however, and by the various components—syringes and a catheter. “Like this thing. What is this even for?” Micah asks, not instilling confidence.
I realize there’s a first time for everything, but with something as important as this, don’t you think they would have read the instructions and/or watched videos from their sperm bank (things that exist) before opening the container? They could also have done this all in a clinic with professional help and boosted their chances of success.
Micah is nervous, however, and can’t breathe. He says he feels like he’s dying. Maribel tells him, “We’re about to have this cute little baby. You can die after,” which sends him down a rabbit hole of wondering what will happen to the baby if they do die. “We’ll write a will,” Maribel assures him.
Ugh. Have wills (and medical powers of attorney and advance medical directives) in place before you actually start insemination or fostering/adoption processes, as I’ve long advised.
Things get worse, however. Micah tells Maribel, “I don’t know enough about your disability yet,” to which she reasonably responds, “Are you f—-ng kidding me right now?” He wants to talk about what would happen if she can’t handle labor. She says that her doctors have told her she can.
Micah insists they need to talk about this before they have a baby. Maribel doesn’t understand why he’s bringing it up now, and I’m with her. Sure, Micah is anxious. That’s part of his character. But bringing up Maribel’s disability like this seems offensive. As Riese noted in her full recap of the episode at Autostraddle, “Micah’s fixation on Mari potentially dying during childbirth is arguably dangerous to even include in this fight, as it’s a largely unfounded fear, seemingly prioritized because of its dramatics instead of its scientific accuracy. I wish Mari was at least given a line to debunk it,” and I concur. (Riese also offers an alternative storyline that would have avoided this while also allowing the two to participate in the wedding like the rest of the cast.)
Maribel and Micah continue to spat. Maribel finally reaches her limit. “I am calling it off. We’re obviously not ready,” she says, smashing the $700 vial of sperm onto the floor.
Micah exclaims, “You can’t just make every life decision without me,” and leaves. We see him call Max, the trans dad who has offered Micah parenting advice before, and ask to come over. Much as I love Max’s reappearance as a mentor to Micah, this feels like a badly handled ending to what could have been a great storyline normalizing trans and disabled parents.
Celesbian Moms
Meanwhile, over at Tina and Bette’s wedding, who shows up but L Word creator and lesbian mom Ilene Chaiken, alongside White House Press Secretary, author, and lesbian mom Karine Jean-Pierre! They’re just in a crowd shot, but it’s fun to see them, regardless—perhaps a reminder of the visibility that queer parents have attained since the original show premiered in 2004.
Looking Back—and Forward
Maribel and Micah’s storyline this season showed them bumbling towards parenthood, with little information (did they really only search at one sperm bank?) or discussion between them. Sure, some real-life couples may be equally unprepared, but I honestly just rolled my eyeballs at the whole thing, which felt overwrought. At least they didn’t parade through a succession of inappropriate known donors (except for that one), like several others shows have done.
I did love the Max-Micah mentoring storyline and hope we see more of it if there’s a fourth season. I’d also love to see more authentic-feeling storylines about pregnant trans men on television. If they have Micah and Maribel stay together, but with Micah getting pregnant instead of Maribel, however, that could perpetuate the sense that Maribel’s disability, or Micah’s concerns about it, had something to do with the switch. That’s not the way to go about it.
I’m also disappointed that we never saw Micah and Maribel ask the other main couple on the show that used donor conception (Bette and Tina) for advice. That was a missed opportunity to highlight the importance of queer community for LGBTQ parents and parents-to-be.
As the parent of a kid in college, though, I was amused by the storyline about Bette and Tina dropping in unexpectedly at Angie’s dorm. Yes, that’s a parenting no-no, but they played up Tina and Bette’s momming for laughs, so it felt like a fun commentary on what not to do. I also thought it was sweet that in their wedding vows, Bette thanks Tina for Angie.
Perhaps the most moving parenting storyline of the season, however, and the one I liked best, was Finley and Carrie’s relationship. Real-life lesbian mom Rosie O’Donnell is always a delight, and it was touching to see her take Finley under her wing, and to see Finley support Carrie in turn.
Can any of this season’s flaws be redeemed? Will there be another season? We just don’t know at this point. I’ll be here to look at the parenting storylines if there is!
Catch up on my other parenting explorations of this season’s LW:GQ: