Outcomes for Children of Queer Parents Same as or Better Than Those With Heterosexual Parents

A new analysis has found that children with queer parents have similar outcomes as those with heterosexual parents, and may even have better ones in some areas—surprising no one reading this post, I suspect. But let’s dig deeper, since that’s what we do here at Mombian.

First, let’s acknowledge that we’ve seen similar findings again and again and again and again and again and again (and probably even more). This new paper, published in BMJ Global Health by researchers in China and the United States, is a peer-reviewed meta-analysis of 16 previous studies, mostly from Western Europe and North America, that “compared family outcomes between sexual minority and heterosexual families.” Despite previous studies, the authors say, many were done before legal marriage became widely accessible, and therefore “little is systematically known” about differences in outcomes after marriage equality. Their analysis attempts to remedy that by looking only at studies conducted in countries and regions after same-sex relationships were legalized.

The researchers concluded that in these regions, “most of the family outcomes are similar between sexual minority and heterosexual families, and sexual minority families have even better outcomes in some domains.” At the same time, “Sexual minority families may experience some additional stressors related to their sexual minority status. Community context and climate have an impact on the health and well-being of sexual minority parents and their children.”

More specifically, they found “better psychological adjustment in children raised by sexual minorities, especially in preschool age children,” which “may be due to better preparedness in the face of strong anti-gay stigma” and “more egalitarian parenting roles.” The authors also suggest that “potential higher socioeconomic status” could be a factor—but they don’t break this down by country, and we would be wise to remember that children in same-sex couple households in the U.S. are almost twice as likely to be poor as in married different-sex couple households.

They also found that “Children who lived in sexual minority parent families had a lower expected likelihood of developing as heterosexual,” versus children in heterosexual-parent families—but let’s be careful not to interpret this as meaning that queer parents “make” their kids queer. As the authors of another study with similar findings have explained, this may simply be because “they were raised by parents who are nonjudgmental about their exploration of non-heterosexual relationships” and may be “more attuned to their own same-sex sexual feelings because of the environment in which they were raised.”

Other notable findings from the new study are that queer parents “showed higher levels of parent–child relationship quality, such as higher levels of warmth, greater amounts of interaction and more supportive behaviour, when compared with the heterosexual parent groups.” Additionally, and importantly:

There may be less gender stereotyping in minority parent families, and this effect may be positive. Regardless of family type, if parents hold more liberal attitudes towards gender-related behaviour, their children hold more flexible attitudes towards gender. Children of sexual minority parents receive different gender-related information and they will likely develop different ideas about gender identity or sexual orientation than their counterparts in heterosexual families. The impact of sexual minority parents’ attitudes toward gender on their children might be uniquely positive. Exploration of gender identity and sexuality may actually enhance children’s ability to succeed and thrive in a range of contexts.

Take that, every state with “Don’t Say Gay/LGBTQ” legislation!

The bottom line, as the study says (and as dozens of other studies have shown), is that “Parents’ sexual orientation is not an important determinant of children’s development,” and children of queer parents may even have some unique strengths. As I’ve stressed many times before, though, let’s not erroneously think this means that queer parents are objectively “better” than heterosexual ones. We each have different strengths, and parenting isn’t a competition. Playing “who’s better” is unfair to us as individuals—and more importantly, to our kids—as it sets a standard that any given person may or may not achieve. Instead, let’s take this as an opportunity for families of many types to share learnings among each other. As the quote above makes clear, children can learn certain good traits “regardless of family type.” If we queer families can be models for others (again, without burdening ourselves with a harmful quest for perfection), and learn from others in return, all children will flourish.

The meta-analysis had a few limitations. Most of the studies analyzed were of lesbian- and gay-headed households, as research on transgender and bisexual parents and their children is still unfortunately limited. There was also limited data on demographic characteristics and how those might have influenced outcomes.

Looking to the Future

The authors end by noting a number of social risk factors, such as stigma, discrimination, and poor social support, that can lead to poor family outcomes. They offer suggestions that might lead to better outcomes for LGBTQ families, including marriage equality, establishing diverse pathways to parenthood, prohibiting discrimination in adoption and employment, raising public awareness and understanding of LGBTQ families, promoting inclusive public facilities, preventing anti-LGBTQ stigma, discrimination, and bullying in schools, and providing gender identity and sexual orientation curriculum in schools. (See diagram below.)

You know: All of the policies currently under threat in many U.S. states. Policies that, as the above makes clear, are in children’s best interests.

It may be easy to dismiss studies like this, which seemingly tell us what we already know from decades of previous research. But at a time when LGBTQ equality is facing rising threats, such research may take on a renewed importance.

The paper is “Family outcome disparities between sexual minority and heterosexual families: a systematic review and meta-analysis,” Zhang Y, Huang H, Wang M, et al., BMJ Global Health 2023;8:e010556.

A note on terminology: The paper defines “Sexual and gender minorities” as “an umbrella term including lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, gender non-conforming people and other populations whose sexual orientation or gender identity and reproductive development is considered outside cultural, societal or physiological norms.” It contrasts this with “heterosexual” families—though I would argue the contrast should really be with “heterosexual and cisgender” families. I have followed their terminology, however, in order not to misrepresent their research.