Infertility Resources for LGBTQ People

• Assisted Reproduction • infertility

This week marks National Infertility Awareness Week. Infertility can come in many forms—but no matter how you encounter it as an LGBTQ person, here are some resources to help.

For some LGBTQ people, “infertility” means needing outside assistance before even trying to reproduce—sometimes called “social infertility” or “circumstantial infertility.” For others, it is a medical diagnosis indicating that conception will be difficult no matter what. And sometimes our struggles with medical infertility may not be taken seriously, since it is assumed we need assistance anyway (or, for two-uterus couples, can simply try the other person’s uterus if the first doesn’t work). Those are harmful assumptions. (Yes, the “other uterus” thing is an option for some of us, but not all, for any number of personal reasons.)

I write about social infertility more often (since it’s a frequent part of LGBTQ family building via pregnancy), so I’m going to emphasize medical infertility below, although many of the resources overlap. I’ll note that it is hard to find LGBTQ-specific resources for medical infertility, since ones for social infertility dominate. Please leave a comment if you know of any that I have missed!

Online Infertility Resources

  • Family Equality offers a number of family-building resources, including:
  • RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, is the go-to site for information about infertility. Their website includes information on the biology of medical infertility, options for treating it, insurance coverage, and more. They also have a special page on LGBTQ Family Building Options, which includes resources on ways of financing fertility treatments (but not a lot on LGBTQ medical infertility).
  • RTZ HOPE is a national non-profit that provides support, resources, and community for all people who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss. Among other more general resources, they include some for LGBTQ families.
  • ReproductiveFacts.org, from the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), is a reputable, if not necessarily all-gender-inclusive, source of information on reproductive health. They include resources about infertility and LGBTQIA Reproductive Rights (though not necessarily LGBTQ-specific medical infertility topics).
  • FertilityIQ offers information, reviews for doctors and clinics, and paid courses on many aspects of fertility and infertility, LGBTQ and otherwise. Again, most of the LGBTQ-specific information focuses on social fertility, not medical infertility, but there’s information here on general medical infertility that you may be able to extrapolate.
  • Trans Fertility Co. provides trans-specific information on many topics, including fertility preservation and the impact of hormone regimens on fertility.
  • You may also want to try one or more of the many Facebook groups for queer parents trying to conceive. Search keyword combinations like “lgbtq fertility,” “lgbt fertility,” “lgbtq ttc,” “lgbt ttc,” etc.

Books

These two books, while about queer fertility more generally, also cover medical infertility and offer useful, gender-inclusive information on understanding human reproductive systems:

If your infertility is social and not necessarily medical, you may also want to look at one or more other books on LGBTQ family building. (Be careful with the sections on legal parentage in all of the LGBTQ parenting guides, however, as several have errors or misleading information—see my reviews for details, and always check with an LGBTQ-competent lawyer in your state.)

A number of books also offer stories of other LGBTQ families who have experienced medical infertility. Sometimes reading about other people’s similar stories can help us better understand our own, or at least not feel so alone.

  • Reproductive Losses: Challenges to LGBTQ Family-Making, by Christa Craven (Routledge), draws on interviews with 54 queer people who experienced loss as gestational parents, non-gestational parents with gestational partners, or through adoption loss, as well as from the author’s own experience with pregnancy loss. Craven explores the queer-specific nuances of how her subjects experienced grief, the support (or lack thereof) available to them, how they found resiliency, and the intersections of social class, race, and religion. This book is a must-read for any queer person who has experienced reproductive loss or is supporting someone who has.
  • There are now many memoirs by queer people who have experienced medical infertility. To the best of my knowledge, however, the LGBTQ memoirs about medical infertility that exist focus on the experiences of queer, cisgender, mostly White women. While some of their experiences are universal and may resonate with all LGBTQ prospective parents (and even non-LGBTQ ones), others are not. Much as I do not wish infertility upon anyone, I would love to see more memoirs about medical infertility from people of other identities.

Medical Providers

Looking for a medical provider to help? Try:

Broadening the Definition and Expanding Coverage

I’ll end with a note on social infertility and inclusion. RESOLVE also works on legislation across the U.S. to ensure equal access to family building options for all. Part of this includes revising the traditional definition of infertility (“the inability to achieve pregnancy after one year of regular, unprotected sexual intercourse”) to be more inclusive of all families. RESOLVE uses this updated definition in its model legislation and model benefits for employers. This is crucial for many LGBTQ folks, because most insurance companies will only cover fertility treatments with a medical diagnosis of infertility. If a person or couple has “social infertility,” they’re often out of luck.

The good news, though? Some companies are starting to offer fertility benefits without needing a medical diagnosis and preauthorization, as I discussed a few years ago. And RESOLVE noted in its 2021 Survey on Fertility Benefits that over a third of the companies that responded said they designed their infertility benefits to be available to LGBTQ+ and/or single employees.

  • Interested in advocating for such benefits at your employer? RESOLVE has resources to help you there, too. (The RESOLVE website itself still needs updating in at least one place with the more inclusive definition, though.)
  • Looking for state-by-state laws on what assisted reproductive procedures must be covered? Both RESOLVE and the ASRM have the data.

You Are Not Alone

For LGBTQ people facing medical infertility, the best advice I can give (since I am not a medical professional or therapist) is: You’re not alone. You deserve as much of a chance to form your family as any other person or couple, no matter your sexual or gender identity. Best wishes in your journey. I wish you love and support along the way.

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