Nonbinary Parent Names and Stories from the LGBTQ Parental Names Project

To celebrate Nonbinary Awareness Week, here are several dozen wonderful, creative nonbinary parent names and the stories behind them, all submitted by nonbinary parents or their spouses/partners to the LGBTQ Parental Names Project that I’ve been running since 2011.

The below names and stories are loosely organized by some themes that emerged. I love all of these small insights into queer families, showing how we value ourselves, embrace change, involve our children (if they are old enough), and even maintain a loving sense of humor.

I also encourage you to browse the full results spreadsheet, which includes all LGBTQ parental names and stories submitted since 2011, nonbinary and otherwise. If you just want to see some highlights across all identities, here’s my most recent summary post and an earlier one.

If you are an LGBTQ parent of any identity, I also invite you to add your own parental name(s) to the project through the form at the bottom of this post, if you haven’t already, to help it reflect even more LGBTQ families. Results are public, but are anonymous unless you choose to share your personal name(s) as well. If you have submitted a response, thank you!

(I’ve taken a few small editorial liberties to fix some typos and rearrange some of the information folks submitted so that it reads well below, and I’ve highlighted nonbinary parental names in bold.)

Names as Joy and Euphoria

I’m the bio parent of my kid but always felt ambivalent about being Mom. The kid referred to me by my first name till they were four then switched to Mama and then mom… When my wife and I transitioned the kid switches to calling me Parent! I add the exclamation because it’s always spoken emphatically and with joy and is a reflection of their humor and joy as well as acceptance of my non-binary trans masculinity. My wife is a transwoman who came out after our kid was born, she was always the more maternal of the two of us from the start, we really let the kid decide what honorifics they wanted to bestow on us. Our kid’s other bio-parent and my sweet wife transitioned and our kid started calling her Momz pretty early on after she came out.
I’m non-binary, somewhat early in my gender exploration. I always assumed I was a woman, but my developing understanding of gender made me realize that that was sort of a role I was playing. “Mommy” (and at school “Mrs.”) felt like costumes. It took me some time to find a parent [name] I liked, but I finally settled on Pompom, a combination of Papa and Mom that is too cute for words. It fits our dynamic. My girls were 7 & 9 when I asked them to make the switch. They were a a little slow to adopt, but they call me it more and more. Definitely euphoria.

Variations on Mom/Dad/Parent

[I am a] genderfluid solo parent to a toddler. my gender expression depends on how i feel in the moment. when pregnant i dressed femininely as it was easier to exist like that as a pregnant person in public, so i got a lot of ‘mom’ comments. that gets tricky fast and i didn’t want to be presenting heavily masculine on a certain day and have to explain to teachers or doctors that yes, my kid calls me ‘mommy.’ i liked ren (taken from ‘parent’) well enough. baby still has trouble with ‘r’ sounds and hearing her call me ‘wen‘ is adorable so that’s a plus.
[I am a] non-bio, gender nonconforming/nonbinary [parent]. We wanted a non-traditional name given my non-traditional identity as a mother. I look very stereotypically lesbian/androgynous. I thought something that sounded similar would be good so that it felt recognizable to other people. I decided Oomi would work. Almost immediately someone asked if it stood for “other mommy” which makes sense, so I often go with that if asked.
I’m a non-binary, non-gestational parent of a toddler. We decided early on that I’d be known as their parent, par-par for short. I am the primary caretaker for our kid, so I’m out in the world with them a lot. People constantly refer to me as their mom. Recently they have started correcting people – “that’s not mom, that’s par-par! Mom is at work!” It’s funny and cute when they respond that way but also annoying to be constantly mis-identified in that way.
Even before I figured out I’m nonbinary, “mom” and “dad” never felt right. When I found the term “Ren”, I knew it was perfect! I’m polyamorous so my kiddo has multiple parental figures. Three of them are also nonbinary, and one just didn’t like the idea of “mom” or “dad” either, so we all picked out the honorifics we felt more connected to. [Moddy/Zaza/Bobo/Momo]
I’m a bio, gestational parent of my kid. I’m non-binary and didn’t fall in love with any gender non-specific parent names I’d heard before, so (as far as I know?) I made up my own. As a gestational parent, I wanted something that felt “mom” adjacent without being explicitly attached to typical femme norms. I liked the idea that Ama has the core sounds of “mama” (easy for a baby to say!) but would be special for just me and my kid.
I’m a nonbinary parent. My real name is Vei, but my daughter Dede has always had trouble pronouncing that, so me and my spouse had to find a different word for me. I didn’t want to be called Mommy or Daddy, so we came up with a creative solution: Nomie. A mixture of nonbinary and mommy!
I’m a non-binary parent afab who is the bio-parent. After much debate I decided to go with Baba although I kind of wanted to just be Dad. My wife wanted to be Mama. When they were around 2 our twins started calling us Mamo and Babo after a song. Lately they have been calling me Dad too or referring to me as their Dad with others.
[My spouse/partner is a] AFAB genderqueer parent; didn’t want a mom-name. “Adi” is both part of her name and also a bit like “Daddy”. It took us longer to pick a parent name for my wife than it did to agree on a name for the baby! I told her that we weren’t leaving the hospital without knowing how to announce ourselves and the adoption.
I’m a non binary trans person who is a single parent. I thought that I’d always be mama before I came out but ended up going with fommy because it was a mix of mommy and father which I am both.
[I go by] Mapa. I am a single parent by choice, used known donor sperm to conceive. I am nonbinary and autistic and arrived at single parenthood by recognising my pattern of ending up in relationships where I am abused, knowing that watching this would be bad for any child, I decided to forgo the relationship troubles and mental ill health, and I’m flying it solo. Best decision of my life.
[I go by] Ren. I’m non-binary.
[I go by] Baba. [I am a] nonbinary masc lesbian, adoptive parent.
[I go by] Pare. I’m nonbinary.
[I go by] Nopa. I’m nonbinary.
[I go by] Wawa [I’m a] gestational, agender [parent].

Creative and New

[I am a] trans-masculine non-binary gestational parent. Poppy fits me because similarly to the other parenting titles, its letters sound as if they’re repeating. I am also an avid gardener and poppies are one of my favorite flowers. My favorite fun fact about them is that they’re used to create opium and alike threatening toxin to humans and animals. Which is fitting because I’m very protective of my family.
We home school since Covid so the kids are just figuring out that Other kids don’t understand that Tigger isn’t a normal parent term. At their soccer practice the kids ask if I’m mom, no, dad, no, uncle or aunt, no. “She’s my Tigger!” I tell the kids to tell them I’m their parent but my daughter says “I told them you’re my Tigger, I’m not saying it again!” ???? Our kiddos are adopted from CPS. They took to calling my wife, who is femme, Mom. Everyone I know calls me Tigger, it’s an old camp counselor name that stuck. So the kids were introduced to me as Tigger. I’m non binary and masc presenting so mom or any derivatives didn’t feel right. I don’t identify as male so Dad felt wrong. But the kids call me Tigger, but I’m “their Tigger” so it’s more like a parent term then just my name.
JoJo’s middle name is Jo. She identifies as a parent, not as a mother or father. Our kiddo (4) is still making sense of who is a mom, a dad, a boy, a girl, a Jojo, etc. some days kiddo says Jojo is a girl and some days a boy. But it’s always clear that a JoJo is a loving parent.
[I am a] non-binary gestational parent, basically “mom” but nonbinary. My kids were 3 and 7 when I started transitioning. So I wanted them to have say in the term. But the 3 of us couldn’t agree on any of the “typical” variations of mom/dad. Heck, I even considered allowing them to call me “Rito” after one of them jokingly suggested calling me “Chicken Burrito” (LMAO). I finally heard someone else say they use “Otter” as a pun off of “other parent” and I thought it was cute and it won over my 7-year-old (who was the hold out on many other options) because she loves puns.
[I am a] non-gestational non-genetic parent, AFAB non-binary/gender-nonconforming. Choosing Sasa had to do with finding a nonbinary parent name that was simple and felt right. As Mama’s given name begins with M and mine begins with S, I explored Sasa as an option. Finding it to be a name in the same family as Sasha or Alexander, and carrying meanings such as “protector,” I felt it was a good fit.
I was automatically mom (as cis female who carried the pregnancy). My non-binary afab partner would have liked to be called Dad, but didn’t think family/friends/public would support it. So we made a huge list of possible titles with a masculine tilt and Mo won. It was much harder for us to determine my partner’s title, than it was to name our child! [Partner is a trans/non-binary parent (and provided egg for or ivf- conceived child)]
[My spouse/partner goes by] Daddy Hol Bol. Hol is a non binary non conformist gender fluid person. She feels like daddy fits her style.
I’m a nonbio cis gender woman. My spouse is a nonbinary bio parent. [We are] Mama Plum (plum sounds like mum) [and] Baba Pear (pear is short for parent). We use mama and baba which are based off our first initials but also happen to be words small children can say. But we chose Pear and Plum as our official names when they are able to say them. My spouse is NB and wanted something neutral but not so official sounding as the word parent. Pear worked and Plum sounds like mum so we kept with the fruit theme. Our oldest is almost 3 and knows both but still mostly uses mama and baba.
[We are] Moma L and Gray. My partner is non-binary and was born a boy we were childhood sweethearts and both changed our original genders I nor my spouse lost any re-producing parts and were able to happily have three kids. I am gender fluid and was born female so I could not get comfortable with anything but something that resembled mama (what I called my mom).
[I am a] non-binary parent. Started as Mummy and Daddy, then when I transitioned I became Bibi as a contraction of my new name, Ruby, as son was still mostly non verbal at the time and the ‘b’ sound was one he had in his repertoire so would be easy to say while keeping a clear distinction between parents.
Moogie. [I am] non-binary—I carried and birthed my children.
Bunny. I’m a non-binary, gestational bio parent. Non-binary co-parent and my spouse [goes by] their first name.
[My spouse/partner goes by] Zadi [and is the] NB gestational parent of (1) kiddo.

The Classics

I’m a nonbinary person who uses they/them pronouns and dabbles in both masc and fem presentation. The kids’ other parent is a pretty straight passing cisgender man. When I first got pregnant we joked that I would be “Daddy” and my cis male partner would be “Mamá.” My biological father wasn’t around much and my lesbian mothers started dating when I was in preschool. It took a while for people to catch on that my parents were gay because I called my butch stepparent “Daddy.” After I gave birth I got worried as none of the titles for nonbinary parents felt right. Eventually I went with my gut and now I’m Dad (both children called me Dada for the longest time but more recently it’s been Dad) and my Latino partner is Papá.
[I am a] Genderqueer lesbian non-bio parent. I had a real hard time adopting any sort of “mom” related label for various reasons, but these days I love hearing my son say “Mama” when referring to me, and it fits me. Being a parent has made me feel a lot braver about being myself and living honestly, because my wife and son love me, so who gives a f*** about anyone else?!
Mum. [I am a] Non-binary gestational parent.

Inspired by Heritage

[I am a] non-binary parent and go by Nibi or tuiste (“I love you Nibi”, “You’re the best tuiste ever”). I came out as non-binary when my kids were hitting their tween years, so they asked to rename me. Seeing how they felt Nini and Bibi were gender neutral but babyish, they combined them as a play on non-binary. We chose the word “tuiste” instead of parent to help differentiate between their father and I; it is Gaelic for parent and since I can trace my lineage to Ireland/Scotland, I felt drawing from that culture would be a good way to not appropriate from other cultures.
[I am a] non binary trans (afab) [and] non bio parent to a toddler, ttc as bio/gestational parent to a second baby. My parent name (Aba) means dad in Hebrew. Before I was out as trans/genderqueer, I assumed my parent name would be “Ima” which is mom in Hebrew, and once I came out as enby I considered “Iba” as a combination of the two. But ultimately, Aba just felt right. Especially since I’m still read as female most of the time, having a more masculine coded parent title helps be a counterpoint to the song of constant misgendering when other people refer to me as “mom” or some variation.
I’m a trans non-binary single adopter from Wales. “Mamtad” is a combination of the Welsh words for mother and father. There are quite a few words in Welsh which smoosh two words together to create a new meaning. The social workers refused to introduce me to my child as Mamtad (or Papa – short for parent- which was my backup choice). They said my child was too old at 7 to start out calling me a parental name. I suspect that if I’d wanted to be called Mum or Dad they wouldn’t have objected. However, I was introduced to my child as my first name. They quickly started calling me a nickname based on my name. Once I told them that I had wanted to be called Mamtad, they gradually switched to calling me that.”

Let the Kids Choose

[I am a] non binary, bio parent. Was mummy for a long time. Worked out I was non binary when kids were 3 and 6. They came up with jelly and treea as alternative names for me.
[I go by] Mr. Mom. I’m femme nonbinary, and didn’t realize it or come out until my kids were teens. They adapted quickly, have been super supportive, and made up my new name.
Vob was the sound/word my oldest made routinely when I’d come in the room as language sounds developed. The “v” sound is usually a later sound but my kid consistently made it. Vobby, vobba, and vobber are all derivatives that get used. [I am a] non-binary birthing parent.
I’m the biological mom and cisgender. [Partner/Spouse is] non-bio, non-binary. [I go by] Mommy, Mother, Mama, my first name. [Partner/Spouse goes by] Mommy, Mama, and her first name. We always agreed we would let our son decide what he wants to call us and we are fine with any of the names he chooses.
[I am] Bio-mom, cisgender. [My partner/spouse is] a non-bio parent, genderqueer. We left it up to our kid. He called us both by our first names from about age 2 (before that, mummy R and mama C, then he just dropped the mummy/mama and used our names). I always called my parents by their first names, so I actually prefer that.
I’m a cis queer bio-mom who came out when my oldest was sixteen and my youngest was 8. [My partner] is a Trans Nonbinary step parent. I tried to get Baba to catch on when my partner and I moved in together, but my son was already 12 and he wasn’t having it. My other son had already moved out when [first name] moved in, so it just made sense for him to call them by their name. I now have a nonbinary child-in-law, as my son’s wife (still the term they prefer) came out as nonbinary a few years ago. I mostly refer to them as my son’s spouse or just his wife. It gets a little confusing when I talk about them to other people if I say wife and then use they/them pronouns- I usually get a strange look until I explain, so for me it seems easier to just say spouse and then quickly tell the person I’m speaking to that they are nonbinary, using they/them pronouns up front. Of course a lot of people are still clueless about agender or nonbinary pronouns.