Anti-LGBTQ actions and rhetoric have been on the rise for several years now, but this week seems to have been particularly awful. How can we support ourselves, our children, and the LGBTQ community through these tough times?
The worst news this week was the death of trans nonbinary teen Nex Benedict after being assaulted in a school bathroom. Benedict, who loved cats, playing Minecraft, cooking, and nature, should be with us today. While the exact details of Benedict’s death are still emerging, it does not seem to be a leap to say that a climate of hate and fear, embodied in policy, puts trans people, particularly young people, at great risk of harassment, violence, and death. Journalist Erin Reed posted Monday that “6 weeks into 2024, there are already 400+ bills targeting transgender people.” Benedict’s home state of Oklahoma is one of 22 states with the worst anti-trans laws, according to Reed (with Florida earning the extra warning of “Do Not Travel”).
On a political note, the Alabama Supreme Court ruled last Friday, with the news breaking widely this week, that frozen embryos should be considered “children.” The ruling threatens in vitro fertilization (IVF) in the state as it seems to expose fertility clinics and other providers to legal liability for embryos that are not implanted into a womb. Already, some clinics have halted IVF treatments, reports the BBC.
IVF has been used since 1978 and has become a key part of family making for many LGBTQ folks—not only couples doing the reciprocal thing like my spouse and me (my egg, her womb), but also people using a surrogate (since the usual practice in the U.S. is gestational surrogacy, where the surrogate carries the fertilized egg of another). It remains a vital family creation option, too, for anyone—LGBTQ and not—faced with fertility issues. While the ruling does not apply outside of Alabama, it hints at what might be to come in the wake of Dobbs, the U.S. Supreme Court decision that overturned the right to abortion. This is not exclusively an LGBTQ issue, but it hits our community hard.
I am not a psychologist or counselor; I have no good answers for how we can individually or collectively get through all that is happening to the LGBTQ community right now. But I do know we’ve shown amazing resilience before; that we have allies as well as enemies; and that amidst all of the hate are still expressions of queer joy, queer love, and queer community.
We must recommit to doing what we can in our families, communities, states, and nations to spread understanding and stop hate. I have often personally found strength in the saying from the Talmud, “You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to desist from it.”
As a start, hug your kids tonight; let them know you love them no matter what. Then wake up ready to do what you can, no matter how big or how small, to make the world better for them and their peers.