First Thoughts from a Queer Parent After the Election

Like many of you, I am reeling with dismay about the overall election results. I will not sugarcoat the negative impact they will have on our country and families—but here are a few things that are giving me some hope, including the more than three dozen LGBTQ parents elected or reelected.

First and Foremost

Our families are still our families. No matter what the law or anyone else says, nothing can alter that.
We must tell our kids that when bullies win, the good people try harder.
We must tell them that change takes time, but we will always love and support them.
We must tell them that we and they are part of a strong and vibrant LGBTQ community with a history of resilience and resistance.

If you need emotional support today, HRC has shared a number of resources.

I also urge all LGBTQ families to make sure you have legal protections in place. This is especially important to protect nongestational and nongenetic parents’ relationships with their children, even if you are married and on your children’s birth certificates. Visit lgbtqparentage.org for a guide from GLAD Law and me that has more information.

If you need legal assistance, the National LGBTQ+ Bar Association maintains a Family Law Attorney Directory of experienced LGBTQ family law practitioners. Additionally, several major LGBTQ legal organizations offer helplines that can address questions, provide attorney referrals, and direct you further:

Some Wins That Offer Hope

In the darkness, however, there are sparks of light. There were some wins for LGBTQ candidates as well, and while they don’t ameliorate the depth of the losses, nor should we ignore them. Notably:

Sarah McBride was elected to the U.S. House from Delaware, becoming the first out transgender person in Congress.
Tammy Baldwin, who was the first LGBTQ woman elected to Congress and then the first elected to the Senate, won reelection to the Senate from Wisconsin.
Sharice Davids, who was the first out LGBTQ Native American elected to Congress, the first openly LGBTQ person elected to Congress from Kansas, and the first (along with Deb Haaland) elected to Congress, was reelected to the U.S. House.

More than three dozen LGBTQ parents also won election or reelection around the country; I’m highlighting them here to provide some mirrors for my many readers who are LGBTQ parents or prospective parents, although many LGBTQ non-parents and non-LGBTQ allies will represent and support us effectively in elected office, too.

Vernetta Alston won reelection to the North Carolina House. She and her wife have two children.
Mary Alford, a mom and the only out LGBTQ member of the Alachua County Commission in Florida, won reelection. She is a mother and grandmother.
Becca Balint, who in 2022 became the first woman and first out LGBTQ person to represent Vermont in Congress, was reelected to the House. She and her spouse have two children.
Sam Bell won reelection to the Rhode Island State Senate. He and his wife have one child.
Precious Brady-Davis, the first Black trans woman appointed to public office in Cook County history, was reelected to the Metropolitan Water Reclamation District Board of Commissioners in Illinois. She and her husband have two children.
Mary Carmack-Altwies was reelected as district attorney in the First Judicial District of New Mexico. She and her spouse have two children.
Robert C a se won reelection to the North Kingstown School Committee in Rhode Island. He has three children.
Kelly Cassidy won reelection to the Illinois House. She and her spouse have three children.
Angie Craig, who in 2018 became the first lesbian mom elected to Congress, was reelected to a House seat from Delaware. She and her wife have four grown sons.
La’Tasha D. Mayes won reelection to the Pennsylvania House. She and her partner have one child.
Karla Drenner, who was the first out LGBTQ person elected to the Georgia House, won reelection. She has twins.
Kate Farrow was elected to the Kentucky House. She has two children.
Josey Garcia won reelection to the Texas House.
Lindsay Gilchrist won election to the Colorado House. She and her wife have three kids.
Jessica Gonzalez-Rojas, who was the first Latina and first out LGBTQ person elected to New York’s 34th Assembly District, won reelection. She and her partner have one child.
Lisa Grafstein, who in 2022 became the only out member of the North Carolina Senate, was relected. She has one child.
Erin Holliday was reelected to the City of Hot Springs Board of Directors in Arkansas. She has a teen.
Brad Hoylman-Sigal was reelected to the New York State Senate. He and his husband have two children.
Kathleen James was reelected to the Vermont House. She and her wife have four adult children and two grandchildren.
Kelli Johnson was reelected to the Harris County Criminal District Court in Texas. She and her spouse have two children.
Jolanda Jones, who was the first out Black lesbian elected to the Texas legislature, was reelected to the Texas House. She has a grown son.
Heather Keeler, who was the first Indigenous LGBTQ person elected to the Minnesota state legislature, won reelection to the Minnesota House. She has two children.
Rashaun Kemp became the first out gay Black man elected to the Georgia legislature, winning a seat in the state Senate. He and his spouse have two children.
Rebecca Kislak was reelected to the Rhode Island House. She and her spouse have two children.
Saudia LaMont was reelected to the Vermont House. She has two children.
Kate Lieber, who was the first out gay member of the Oregon State Senate, won reelection. She and her wife have two children.
Michelle McCane became the first out LGBTQ person of color elected in Tulsa. She has two children.
DeShanna Neal, the only non-binary state legislator in Delaware, was reelected to the state House. They have four children.
Danielle Newbury was reelected to the Rahway City Council in New Jersey. She and her wife have two children.
Rob Nosse was reelected to the Oregon House. He and his husband have two children and three grandchildren.
Jack Patrick Lewis was reelected to the Massachusetts House.
Rebecca Perkins Kwoka, who was the first out LGBTQ woman elected to the New Hampshire Senate, won reelection. She and her wife have three children.
Amy Quinn won reelection to the Asbury City Council in New Jersey. She and her wife have one child.
Rob Reneau was reelected to the Peoria County Board in Illinois. He has teen twins.
Dana Schallheim, who was the first out LGBTQ+ person to serve on the Anne Arundel County Board of Education in Maryland, was reelected. She and her husband have one child.
Liz Sheehan, who was the first out bisexual person elected in Kentucky, won reelection to the Lexington-Fayette County Council. She and her husband have one child.
Lauren Ashley Simmons won election to the Texas House. She has one child.
Christopher Ward was reelected to the California State Assembly. He and his partner have two children.
Aime Wichtendahl won election to the Iowa House, becoming the first out transgender person to serve in Iowa’s state legislature. She has one child.

Apologies if I’ve missed anyone; please let me know if so. Thanks to the Victory Fund for some of the information above.

These are only my first thoughts on how to get through the next four years; I’m sure I’ll be writing more in the coming weeks. Be angry and mourn as you must, but continue to find joy in your families and communities, however they were found, formed, or chosen, as you gather strength for the challenges ahead. Sending love and kindness to you all.