On March 11, 1973, Jeanne Manford, a teacher, and her husband Jules, a dentist, at the urging of their gay son Morty, held the first meeting of what would become known as PFLAG, an organization—and a movement—of allyship and love.
In 1972, after New York City police did nothing to prevent activist Morty from being assaulted during a gay rights march, Jeanne Manford wrote a letter to the editor of the New York Post, expressing her anger:
I am proud of my son, Morty Manford, and the hard work he has been doing in urging homosexuals to accept their feelings and not let the bigots and sick people take advantage of them…. It is a fight for recognition such as all minority groups must wage and needs support from outsiders as well as participants in the movement.
“No parent had ever written such a letter before that was published in a major newspaper,” according to PFLAG.
Jeanne Manford also participated that year in the Christopher Street Liberation Day Parade (predecessor to the city’s Gay Pride Parade), carrying a sign urging, “Parents of Gays: Unite in Support of our Children.” The next year, on March 11, with the encouragement of Morty and other members of the gay and lesbian community, she and Jules held the first meeting of what would become PFLAG. PFLAG says that approximately 20 people attended the gathering, at the Metropolitan-Duane Methodist Church in Greenwich Village (now the Church of the Village).
Jules Manford died in 1982 and Jeanne in 2013, but their legacy lives on. PFLAG now has over 550,000 members and nearly 350 chapters in the United States alone. It does the vital work of personally supporting and educating parents, other relatives, and friends of LGBTQ people; providing resources for all allies and even for LGBTQ people ourselves; offering trainings to schools, workplaces, and communities; and advocating at all levels of government for LGBTQ justice, equity, and inclusion.
Most recently, PFLAG National filed a lawsuit, PFLAG v. Trump, on behalf of two transgender young adults, along with five trans adolescents and their parents, seeking to stop a recent executive order that would block young people’s access to gender affirming health care. Last week, a federal judge granted a request for a preliminary injunction in the case, extending a temporary restraining order and blocking enforcement of the executive order while the case proceeds. The plaintiffs and their families are represented by the American Civil Liberties Union, Lambda Legal, the ACLU of Maryland, and law firms Hogan Lovells and Jenner & Block—joined by PFLAG National and GLMA: Health Professionals Advancing LGBTQ+ Equality.
PFLAG is also one of few current LGBTQ organizations that gets mentioned by name right in the main text (as well as resource lists) of several children’s books, a credit to their widespread impact and recognition. The Mother of a Movement: Jeanne Manford–Ally, Activist, and Co-Founder of PFLAG, is a moving and lyrical book specifically about the organization’s founding—but PFLAG also gets noted in History Comics: The Stonewall Riots: Making a Stand for LGBTQ Rights; Pride: The Celebration and the Struggle; My Sister’s Girlfriend; and even Pride Parade Mad Libs. And while it is not mentioned in the text of the multi-award-winning Kyle Lukoff’s Different Kinds of Fruit, Lukoff notes in the acknowledgments that he gave the father of one of the main characters “big PFLAG energy.” Most people remotely familiar with the organization and its chapters should know exactly what he means.
Also notable is the photo essay book Authentic Selves: Celebrating Trans and Nonbinary People and Their Families, developed as a collaboration of PFLAG National, Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund, and Family Diversity Projects. It’s not a children’s book per se, though older youth may enjoy it, but the more than 60 full-color photographs and accompanying interviews powerfully celebrate the lives of transgender and nonbinary people in their own words and those of their family members. It’s a stunning volume and a testament to the creative ways PFLAG does its work.
While this blog is primarily for and about LGBTQ parents, some of us do have LGBTQ children (not because we “make” them that way, but because statistically, it’s bound to happen). In addition, there’s always been overlap between the goals of LGBTQ parents no matter what our kids’ identities, and those of PFLAG parents. We want a world free of anti-LGBTQ bias and hate and where our kids feel affirmed and supported in who they are. For more than half a century, PFLAG has been a driving force in helping to make that happen, and for that we should all be grateful.
Here’s to the fateful meeting 52 years ago, and to PFLAG’s vital work now and in the future, as they bring “big PFLAG energy” to all they do.
