For Darra Gordon, her new role as CEO of Family Equality is “more of a calling than a choice.” She and her wife Nicole are raising three children, one of whom identifies as nonbinary. The work of Family Equality, the national organization for LGBTQ families, is therefore “incredibly, deeply personal to me,” she said in an interview.
“I love being a parent,” she shared. “It was always a lifelong dream. I did not envision a world ever where I was not. I’m so grateful and I feel so privileged to be able to have formed a family and be able to raise a family.” She enjoys seeing the world through her children’s eyes, she said, adding, “They are their own unique individuals, and so we get to step back and see them flourish and grow, go through their challenges, and support them and love them unconditionally.”
In her professional life, before coming to Family Equality, Gordon was deputy president and COO of GLAAD, the LGBTQ media advocacy organization. She previously spent over 15 years at Hetrick-Martin Institute, the nation’s oldest and largest LGBTQ+ youth service organization. “Being in this work for so long, I know this moment that I’m stepping into, and the work is just critical for families,” she said.
Family Equality’s wide-ranging work began in 1979 when a group of gay dads came together at the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. In 1995, the organization held the first Family Week gathering of LGBTQ parents and their children in Provincetown, Mass., an event that now attracts hundreds of families each year. It opened a Washington, DC office and hired its first policy staff position in 2001, and later partnered with other organizations to submit amicus briefs to the U.S. Supreme Court, highlighting the stories of children with LGBTQ parents and of LGBTQ youth. These were cited in the landmark marriage equality decisions Windsor (2013) and Obergefell (2015). In 2018, Family Equality merged with Path2Parenthood, a provider of LGBTQ family-building education. When the COVID pandemic hit in 2020, the organization created virtual events to connect and inform LGBTQ families, and many of those offerings continue today.
Gordon is ready to come on board. “Building innovative strategies, building operational excellence, a deep commitment to social justice—I’ve dedicated my career to that and to protecting and preserving our community’s rights to celebrate, respect, and be connected. It’s the right organization, I’m at the right point in my career, and the time is now to do this,” she stated.
The time is, however, a troubling one, as the federal government and numerous states and local communities are enacting or considering anti-LGBTQ laws and policies. While she is only into her second week with Family Equality and still “digging in,” Gordon said that some of the biggest challenges she sees right now are “sustaining the protections” that LGBTQ families have achieved and ensuring that LGBTQ people who are forming and building families can find support and resources.
“Four million LGBTQ millennials are planning to expand their families in the upcoming years,” she explained, adding that having gone through it herself, she knows “there are extreme financial, social, and legal obligations.” She wants to make sure that Family Equality is supporting community members, especially the most marginalized ones, as they form and grow their families.
The organization will also continue its efforts to share the stories of LGBTQ families. “Storytelling is very powerful,” Gordon said, noting that her time at GLAAD helped her “understand firsthand the value of what storytelling can do.”
All of this work is part of “building a movement,” she said, because, “We can’t do it alone.” Within the partnerships and collaborations that she foresees, however, she wants “to focus on those things that Family Equality very uniquely brings to the table as a movement leader.”
“Where we will really lean into and focus is the family,” she said. On the policy side, she affirmed, “Protecting marriage equality is critical and one of our priorities.” The organization is also working on state legislation centered on “establishing clearer, more efficient pathways” to parentage. Even in the current climate, “that is one of the areas that we’re seeing progress,” and Family Equality has been engaged with current and recent efforts in Connecticut, Michigan, New Mexico, New York, and Vermont, among other states. Beyond helping to enact legislation, it is trying to “get the word out for families to understand and know their legal rights and protections and what they need to do.”
Overall, she asserted, “My vision is to double down on our impact, build the capacity, the reach, of the organization to support more families, create more protections, and be there for more families.”
Even now, her message to other LGBTQ parents is, “You’re not alone. There are so many folks out there looking to form their families or raising their families.” She advised, “Seek out community. Seek out support,” and “know your rights and your resources.” And she extended an invitation: “Come and get involved with us. We’ve got community events, we’ve got resources for the diverse landscape of families today and what that means, so be part of the community and join us for this journey. It’s an incredible one.”
Disclosure: I serve as an unpaid, volunteer member of Family Equality’s Communications Committee.
Originally published as my Mombian newspaper column.
