A warm and affirming book about the many kinds of families and the ways we form and choose them. Adoptive families and families with same-gender parents are included.
There are many kinds of families in the world and each one is different, we read on the opening pages. We all need a family to help us learn, practice, and grow, and because “we are braver together.” Families come in different sizes and may have different types of people in them, the book tells us, noting, “Many families have moms and dads and kids. They’re filled with cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, and grandparents.”The plural construction of “moms and dads” leaves room for many different configurations—and the image (also on the cover) is of an extended family, making it clear the reference is to more than one nuclear family.
We see same-gender parents on several pages, along with mom-dad families, kids cared for by grandparents, and families with single parents. (Also, I’m personally choosing to read the person on the cover with the teal hair and bearded companion as a queer couple; there’s no indication of this in the text, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a couple like them at Pride.)
One page specifically acknowledges adoptive families, too. Sometimes the people in a family look alike, the book also observes; sometimes they don’t; sometimes they live close by, and sometimes they are far away.
Families expand, shrink, and change, too—but even those that break apart may “mend and grow stronger in new ways,” we read. The image on this page shows two adult couples at the birthday party of a young girl. The two parents closest to the girl, with their hands on her back, look like her, and could be read as her genetic mom and dad; the woman has her arm around another woman, however, while the man has his arm around a different woman. It seems that they have divorced and each found a new partner/spouse. Read this way, it is a rare acknowledgment in a picture book of a queer parent with children from a previous different-sex relationship.
The story also tells young readers that they will find and create their own families as they grow. Sometimes these families, such as a close group of friends, will only last for a school year or a season on a sports team; other times, they may last a lifetime. I appreciate this acknowledgment not only of chosen families, but of chosen ones that may last only for a short period. They are still close and vital relationships.
Families also have their own stories and histories, and the book invites readers to tell their own family stories and to ask others to share theirs, to see how we are more alike than different.
Authors Frank Murphy and Alice Lee keep the tone soft and soothing, and Kayla Harren’s illustrations capture gentle and joyous moments of family life. The family members shown represent a wide range of racial/ethnic identities, ages, body types, abilities, and more (including people with tattoos and ear gauges.
An Authors’ and Illustrator’s Note offers further details on the many ways families can vary, and gives suggestions for asking an older family member to tell their family story. While no book can capture every variation of family (birth families and families of donor kin are not explicitly mentioned, for example), the creators’ encouragement to continue conversations about family offers readers inspiration to see their own families as part of the rich diversity shown here.
There are now happily many queer-inclusive picture books about family types; this book’s wide lens on both formed and chosen families and on the ways that families may change over time make it one of the best.
