Growing up means lots of changes, and this book tries to explain them to young readers in simple, inclusive, and accurate ways. It mostly succeeds, with some limitations.
Author Rachel Greener begins by explaining that babies are “usually called boys or girls based on what their bodies look like. This is called the baby’s biological sex.” Babies with a vulva are called girls, and usually have a womb and ovaries; those with a penis and testicles are boys; while “some babies’ bodies don’t fit into either group,” and those babies “are sometimes known as ‘intersex.'”
The problem is, as Planned Parenthood explains, the term “biological sex” “doesn’t fully capture the complex biological, anatomical, and chromosomal variations that can occur.” Many LGBTQ advocates therefore avoid the term, preferring “sex assigned at birth,” as this article explains further.
The book then explains that there are lots of ideas about how people should look and behave based on whether they were born with a penis or a vulva, but in fact, everyone can decide these things for themselves. “But what does this have to do with growing up?” it asks.
Good question, although the book never answers that directly. First, it explains that puberty is about bodies getting ready to make babies when people are older, although not every grown up will choose to do so.
We then learn about some of the bodily changes that accompany puberty, such as body hair, body odor, and pimples. Most people with a vulva will start to grow breasts and start having periods; those with penises will get even more body hair and facial hair, and their voices will deepen, the book says. Erections and wet dreams are described, but having sex is not mentioned.
The book also describes the mood changes that may accompany puberty and their impact on friendships and other relationships. One spread also talks about boundaries and learning to say no to unwanted behavior from others and to pressure for engaging in unwise behavior oneself. This segues into a spread about online safety. Greener offers gentle support and suggests talking with a trusted grown-up if needed.
A final spread of “extra questions” discusses “What is a person’s sex?” which repeats the definition of “biological sex” from earlier but also explains that “Lots of people will feel that like the sex they were given when they were born is the right one for them,” while “Some people might feel that they weren’t given the right sex when they were born.” This unfortunately conflates the ideas of sex and gender; “gender” is really what they’re talking about here. The book does go on to explain that “gender identity” is “feeling like a boy or a girl, or neither, or both,” but the earlier phrasing of “given the right sex” makes things confusing. I would also have preferred to see all of this explained in the earlier section about how babies are called “boys” or “girls” at birth, rather than being added as an “extra question” at the end.
On a similar disorganized note, the second “extra question” is “Why is online safety so important?” might have fit better with the earlier spread about online safety.
The book’s heart is in the right place with its gender-inclusive descriptions about the changes of puberty, although it could have better clarified the difference between sex and gender and omitted the contentious term “biological sex.”
The simple explanations here place the volume at the early end of puberty books, for children just starting to delve into the topic (as opposed to books like You-ology and/or You Know, Sex, for kids who are ready for more detail).
