In this picture book based on the author’s experience as a trans, nonbinary, single parent, a child introduces readers to their daddy, who has long hair, likes to wear dresses and pants, and carried the child in his belly. The child and daddy spend a day doing fun things together as the child explains further, “My daddy used to be a girl. Then he was a boy. He says he felt like a mommy when I was inside of him. But now he is my daddy.”
One needs to be careful with the phrase “used to be” when talking about transgender and nonbinary people, as some feel they have always been the gender with which they identify (or always been genderless, if that is how they identify). Yet one’s gender can change, and for the author, the terminology used here presumably reflects their own experience and usage.
The child tells readers, “Sometimes people say my daddy looks like a girl. Sometimes he likes that. Sometimes it makes him sad,” which may require a little adult explanation about why sometimes being perceived as a particular gender can create such opposite feelings. Nonbinary adults may be able to convey this easily; others may struggle. The child also says that sometimes they are teased about their daddy, which sometimes makes them (the child) sad.
We also learn that while some kids have two mommies and others two daddies, “Some kids have a mommy who’s also a daddy, or a daddy who’s also a mommy.” Readers should note, however, that the book depicts only one family and is not representative of all families with nonbinary parents. Some nonbinary parents use “they” pronouns, for example, or don’t identify as both mommy and daddy; they may choose parental names like “Maddy” that are not gendered. That’s not a criticism; just something for readers to be aware of if they are either seeking a book that aligns with their own identity or using it to teach about children with nonbinary parents.
For children whose parents’ identities are similar to the one shown here, this affirming book, with illustrations in pink, blue, and purple, will provide a needed mirror in which to see themselves. For others, it may open their eyes to the range of gender identities and families today, although pairing it with another book that talks more broadly about gender identity (such as Being You: A First Conversation About Gender) may be helpful.
