You-ology, written by OB/GYN Melisa Holmes and pediatricians Trish Hutchison and Kathryn Lowe, is published by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), a professional organization of 67,000 pediatricians that has long supported LGBTQ equality. The book anchors itself in the stories of several fictional characters and their friends, including a trans girl, a trans boy, a gender creative boy, and a nonbinary child, among others, as it covers the physical and emotional changes of puberty in a way fully inclusive of all genders.
You-ology feels aimed at younger tweens, and looks at topics such as feelings and friends, body parts and their development, and practical matters like shaving (or not), having periods, acne and skin care, and wearing bras, binders, compression shorts, and athletic cups. It doesn’t discuss intimate relationships or sex with others, although it does cover friendships, cliques, bullying, crushes, and masturbation, and offers guidance around porn and online safety. It also acknowledges that not all children have one mom and one dad, even though their genetics come from the people who provided the egg and sperm for them.
There is information here, too, on what it means to be transgender, nonbinary, and genderfluid, among other identities, and touches on pronouns, binders, and tucking. It acknowledges that puberty may not feel right to trans and nonbinary kids, who “might be prescribed a medication to pause puberty.”
Holmes told me in an e-mail that they were very deliberate about the language they used in the book, for example, “We avoided using the term transgender until we had defined it around page 29 or so. Later in the book, as we defined more terms, we used transgender, gender-diverse, cis-gender, etc. more often.”
The book also uses the phrases “most boys and kids like Kimi” (the trans girl) and “most girls and kids like Oliver” (the trans boy) when talking about different bodily changes. That might seem a little awkward; why not say “most boys and transgender girls” and “most girls and transgender boys”? Holmes explained:
Although our primary goal in writing this book was to create one single resource on puberty for all kids, our secondary goal was to help parents/kids who are less comfortable with LGBTQ identities and language become more understanding and accepting. Storytelling is one of the most powerful ways to help people with different opinions open their hearts and minds to concepts they fear because they don’t understand them.
We used the stories and characters to help any “less accepting readers” first see each child in the book as an individual with a typical life and relatable challenges, rather than a label. Once they see a child (like Kimi) as a person, then the label is just one more part of who they are and it’s easier for some people to accept at that point. As we have worked with families particularly in conservative communities (where we live!), this strategy has worked best for us in encouraging support/acceptance.
That makes sense, especially since they do use the term “transgender” at other points; it’s not as if they’re trying to avoid the term.
A few small things could be clarified: When discussing circumcision, the book notes that this is done by a doctor “or rabbi or mohel in the Jewish faith.” That’s not exactly correct. Mohels are the only ones who do circumcisions in the Jewish faith. And while some mohels may also be rabbis (especially in Orthodox communities), most rabbis are not mohels. Also, the book says that tampons are inserted with an applicator, but doesn’t note that some brands, like O.B., are designed without applicators and are inserted with a finger. That seems like a useful fact for young people deciding what period products are right for them.
Those are minor points, however, and don’t take away from my wholehearted recommendation of this engaging, informative, and inclusive book. With the imprimatur of the AAP, it carries weight that may be needed when such books are evaluated for sex ed classes, and it’s likely to be recommended by many pediatricians. Unfortunately, its recognition of many genders and its support of affirming care for trans youth likely mean it will be challenged or banned in some areas—but opponents will struggle to find a more authoritative replacement.
