New Jersey Marriage Decision: Will They or Won’t They?

The New York Times has a lengthy article on the maybe-soon, maybe-not New Jersey same-sex marriage decision. (Registration required for NYT site.) For long, many have said the ruling will come before Chief Justice Deborah T. Poritz’s retirement on October 25. Now, some say it may come after the State Senate’s scheduled vote to confirm the new chief justice next Monday. Others think it will be delayed until after elections (November 7) so that a ruling in favor of same-sex marriage would not galvanize conservatives against Democrats.

Steven Goldstein, chair of the advocacy group Garden State Equality, comments, “Most of us in the gay community have no fingernails left.” Hmm. Could be an advantage for us gals.

If the decision goes in our favor, it will be a tremendous victory, especially after same-sex-marriage defeats in New York and Washington. Let’s keep things in perspective, though. This still wouldn’t give us Federal benefits like a deceased spouse’s Social Security, Congressional pension, or veterans’ benefits. As a stay-at-home mom, I still wouldn’t be able to contribute to an IRA like I could if I had a legal, employed spouse. I’d still be limited in what states I could move to without losing my marital status.

Tactically, gaining marriage rights state by state may be the best approach. We’d likely lose any federal ruling at this point. We have to see the state battles as the first phase of a much longer process, however, one that encompasses federal recognition for same-sex marriage and even other forms of relationships. We must celebrate every victory, regroup after every defeat, and never rest on our laurels.