Parent Hex: Harry Potter Spells for Parents

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7)I suspect traffic across the blogosphere will be low today as people lock themselves away to read through Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I thought it would be appropriate, however, to publish a heretofore lost list of charms and spells that came to light only recently when a scholar journeying through King’s Cross Station, London found a manuscript crumpled next to the Information Booth in front of Platforms 9 and 10, apparently dropped by a fellow traveler. The folio is titled Parent Hex: Survival Spells for Parents and Other Caregivers.

  • Cocodissimulatio Charm: Causes any food to taste like chocolate.
  • Mucosus Recessum Charm: Causes nasal excretions to withdraw into a person’s nose.
  • Ursinvenio Charm: When applied to a teddy bear or other stuffed animal, causes it to emit a loud growling sound when lost.
  • Expecto Progenitum Spell: An elaboration of the Accio Summoning Charm, this spell causes one’s child to appear. Unclear at what distance this works or if it can operate using the Floo network or Portkeys.
  • Fabulam Repetopeto Charm: Causes a book to read itself out loud over and over. Skillful wizards can make it inaudible to themselves.
  • Vestitus Prudens Spell: Makes the victim appear to be wearing long pants and a sweater, although the person is unaware of the change.
  • Immotus Spell: A lesser version of Petrificus Totalus, this stops victims from fidgeting, though they can still move slowly.
  • Altitudo Monitio Charm: Causes flashing lights and a loud hooting sound to occur whenever the victim is near a dropoff like a staircase or cliff.
  • Odoratum Desisto Charm: Removes the smell from an object.
  • Dormitus Spell: Makes the victim fall asleep. An advanced spell, mastered by only a few.

Yeah. I’m a geek. Thanks to the Harry Potter Encyclopedia and MuggleNet for information about actual spells in the books (and with apologies to Parent Hacks).

Question for readers: What spell from the books would you have found most useful recently and why? Leave a comment.

5 thoughts on “Parent Hex: Harry Potter Spells for Parents”

  1. Brava, bravissima! Destined to go down in herstory as one of your finest in the Entertainment category! If you had a Fun With Latin category it would be the tops there!

    While I may be the only person in the English-speaking world who has not read any of Harry Potter books, I am going to try these spells at home just the same. I hope I have better luck with them than with the Ingestus Vegetalis spell (induces victim to willingly consume her vegetables), which I’ve been trying to work for the past two years, to no avail. (Maybe I should combine it with the Cocodissimulatio Charm?)

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