Good Will Towards Men

In the seasonal spirit of “good will towards men,” here are two recent articles about gay dads:

• When a single mother of four young teens died, leaving her children with no other relatives and no family friends who could take them in, the two brothers and two sisters were at risk of being split into separate homes. Gavin Glynn, a gay man who was approved as a foster parent and in the process of adopting a seven-year-old boy, stepped in to take them all. The LA Times tells this heartwarming story while not sugarcoating the challenges and adjustments Glynn and the children faced. The article also relates some of the funny moments Glynn encountered as a gay man raising two girls, yet steers thankfully away from tired explorations of whether gay men can raise girls (or lesbians raise boys). It simply mentions that Glynn turned to a female friend for help when needed. He also ran into Gloria Steinem in a bookstore: “I asked her, ‘How do I interpret femininity to them?’ and she said, ‘Let them interpret their femininity themselves.'” With advice like that, and a willingness to accept it, it’s no wonder he and the children—some now adults—are doing all right.
• The LA Times also relates the story of a gay couple and their journey to parenthood using a gestational surrogate. It took them four-years, three egg retrievals, 65 eggs, seven fertilization attempts, three surrogates, the loss of premature twins, and over $200,000. The Times originally profiled the couple in a three-part series last year. In a media dominated by tales of lesbians searching for sperm, the series is a rare look at a gay male couple who wants biological children. (I didn’t like the phrase “It would take a village to manufacture their child,” in Part I, as “manufacture” ignores the human emotion behind the process, but overall, the series is more sensitive than that one unfortunate phrase would lead you to believe.)