Here is the fourth in my series of quotes from Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting. I’ll be running them for a couple of weeks courtesy of the book’s editor, Rachel Epstein. I’m choosing the quotes I feel are most intriguing and thought provoking; I don’t always agree with the sentiments, but I hope they will spur some discussion in the comments and encourage you to seek out the book for yourselves.
For more on how to get this Canadian-published volume (and you should!), see my original post about it.
Today’s selection is from “Reading, Writing, and Resilience: Queer Spawn Speak Out about School,” by Rachel Epstein, Becky Idems, and Adinne Schwartz, based on a 2004 research project in which they interviewed over 30 young people with LGBTQ parents.
First, a quote from the article’s authors, who assert:
Queer spawn call for the education system to represent queer families in the early grades. Practically all the young people we interviewed described the level of homophobia as much higher in elementary school than in high school. Many of the most painful incidents they described happened in Grades 1 to 6. For many, life got easier in high school.
One of their interviewees, a 16-year-old girl with lesbian moms, explains it thus:
The thing is, you can’t start when you’re in high school . . . if the first time you’re hearing about it it when you’re sixteen and you’re struggling to be cool, it’s difficult to break a bad habit. So you have to start when they’re really young. . . . That’s when it becomes really hard—you’re going to have parents who don’t want their kids to know about this. But it really is important that you have that in school, you have those books, you have discussions.
Children are learning about LGBT families in schools whether the teachers discuss it with them, or not. I think it’s irresponsible to allow our childrens’ peers to be the ones to “educate” the class.
I agree that the discussion needs to start sooner than middle or high school. Start young, while their minds are open and fresh. Before a wall is constructed and cemented with homophobic mortar.
Instead, they have in place an anti-bullying curriculum that actually focuses on our differences, instead of educating them early on, that we’re not so different.
Couldn’t agree more. We’ve been advocating this for 15 years! Our films, It’s Elementary—Talking About Gay Issues in School, and That’s a Family! have given educators and parents support and tools to do just that! Both films come with in-depth curriculum and training guides. Check’em out at wwwgroundspark.org.
Thanks, Debra! I’ll concur that your films are a great resource. For readers who aren’t familiar with them, do check out the Groundspark site, as well as my interview with Debra about It’s STILL Elementary and one about Straightlaced. (The latter is aimed at high school students, but still seemed worth a mention here.)