Congratulations to Labelsareforjars, winner of the first And Baby Makes More
Let me also say: Wow, the comment thread! Contest or no, it’s worth a read to learn about the many ways we name our families. Please keep the thread going, even though I won’t be taking any more contest entries from it. (I’m looking for good discussion topics for the next two contests, too. Leave a note here if you have one.)
I will also be posting quotes over the next few weeks from the essays in the book. Here’s one on language that seems appropriate after that comment thread. (Thanks to the book’s co-editor, Susan Goldberg, for sending me the quotes.)
There’s power in owning the language that describes your life, a sort of magic of normalcy for even the most alternative of families. I grew up with terms like “donor dad” to explain where the sperm came from to make me, “out-of-the-box” to explain my mom’s sexuality, “parenting partner” to explain who was cooking dinner every Sunday. I didn’t question where the terms came from; they were just always part of my “intimacy constellation.”
In some ways, I was able to use words as my foot soldiers. I knew that not everyone had the sort of family that I did, but I had words for my family, and I could put them forth and explain the relationships on my own turf. Then, if the person I was talking to didn’t understand, it must have just been the words.
—Rosi Greenberg, “Intimacy Constellation”
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I’m stunned! Thank you!