Halloween often brings up the topic of kids and gender expression, so I thought I’d highlight a recent post from Pajamamamas about navigating her almost-six-year-old son’s shoe choices.
She writes in “If the shoe fits…” that in the shoe store her family goes to, she and her partner Roo have always shown their kids “both the purple/pink/sparkly section and the blue/brown/orange/superhero section, and avoided labeling them by gender. As feminists it’s important to Roo and me to not close off gender options for either of our kids based on their sex.”
When their son Tad wanted a pink and purple version of a shoe that also came in blue and green, they did, however, worry that other kids might tease him — so decided to get him him both. Not only was the store having a “buy one, get one half off” sale, but they figured he’d then be able to decide between them on a daily basis, in case his choice changed. She explains:
Roo and I thought about how we all make decisions every day about how much of true selves to show, and how much to compromise in order to avoid standing out. Neither of us have been boys, so we don’t know how to navigate these gender issues from that perspective. But we have been girls and women, and so we have experiences every day in making decisions about how much to fit into the appearance that is expected for our gender.
Unfortunately, Tad was teased at camp, by both campers and staff — but the joyous part of the story is that he didn’t let it stop him. Go read the full post for the rest of his tale of self-assurance.
For more on the topic, you may also want to check out CNN’s piece from a few weeks back on “Kids Who Challenge Gender Stereotypes.”
Wow, thanks for featuring my post–and for all of the work you do for our community!