Much has been written in the past few weeks about the suicide of transgender teen Leelah Alcorn and her plea that we “fix society” to stop transgender people from dying by suicide. That’s not an easy request, although it is a necessary one. One social worker and researcher has some ideas for addressing at least one part of the problem.
Dr. Caitlin Ryan, founder of the Family Acceptance Project (FAP), has worked for years with highly religious families like Leelah’s, families inclined to reject their children because of their LGBTQ identities. As she writes at the Washington Post this week, “Highly religious families were most likely to use religion to reject their LGBT children and were least likely to accept them.” At the same time, “LGBT young people who were highly rejected by their families during adolescence were more than eight times as likely to attempt suicide during young adulthood and nearly six times as likely to report high levels of depression as nonrejected peers.”
The family support model developed by FAP family, however, does not judge these families. Instead, it starts by “meeting families where they are and showing them that the behaviors they thought were helping their LGBT child instead contribute to higher risks for health problems and family conflict.” They recognize that most of these parents are actually motivated to reject their children because they think that in doing so they are helping them — helping them to “fit in” and be accepted by others. With this understanding, FAP hopes to help parents learn how to support their LGBT children, “even if they believe that being LGBT is wrong — by simple actions that don’t require them to accept a ‘behavior’ or ‘identity’ they don’t condone.”
I’ve written already about FAP’s work with Mormon families and their other materials that have been designated the 1st “Best Practice” resource for suicide prevention for LGBT people by the national Best Practices Registry for Suicide Prevention. In fact, my first piece about them was in 2009, for the now-defunct 365gay.com (but reposted here). It’s immensely frustrating that it is taking so many years for their message to be heard. If you know of a family who might be in need of their resources, please help spread the word.
Please be aware, too, of the point made by a young trans woman in an NPR story yesterday, who said, “No offense to Leelah Alcorn, may her soul rest in peace, but where is the press coverage of the eight to 10 African-American transgender girls that have been murdered this year?” Leelah Alcorn’s story is tragic, but it is not the only one.
(Full disclosure: I did some paid consulting work for FAP in 2013.)
