The Fosters’ Jude: A Kiss is More than Just a Kiss

This week’s episode of The Fosters showed what seems to be the youngest same-sex kiss on television—but broke ground in another way, too.

The kiss between Stef and Lena’s son Jude and his classmate Connor offered young LGBTQ people a glimpse of something my generation never had—themselves. The writers have softly built the storyline over both of the show’s seasons, as Jude has explored both his gender expression and sexual orientation. This isn’t some sweeps-week stunt. This kind of thoughtful representation can have a direct impact on young lives. And with more kids coming out in middle school, it’s none too soon.

The portrayal is notable for a second reason as well.

One of the main arguments against lesbian and gay parents has been that we will “make” our kids lesbian or gay. Much early research on children of gay and lesbian parents was intended to counter this myth, and to provide support for lesbian and gay parents leaving heterosexual marriages and fighting for child custody, as Abigail Garner explains in Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is. The idea that LGBTQ parents could have LGBTQ kids was downplayed, even if statistically, we were as likely to have them as anyone else. Garner writes, “Neglected in the whispers are the children who actually do come out as LGBT. These sons and daughters, already challenged by the usual stigma in broader society for being queer, face an added stigma within their own LGBT community from people who fear their visibility will reinforce the stereotype.” Inherent in the push to convince the world that LGBTQ parents didn’t have LGBTQ kids, she adds, was the idea that being LGBTQ was wrong.

Jude thus stands as a much-needed model not only for young queer kids, but also for “second-gen” queer kids—those with queer parents.

Showtime’s drama Queer as Folk almost went there. Couple Michael and Ben adopted Hunter, a boy who has been a prostitute with a male clientele. They presume he’s gay, but he later gets involved with a girl. Even if we put Hunter under the broad “queer” umbrella (a debatable point, as the show indicated he identified as straight), Jude remains distinct in being the only queer second-gen’er to come out as LGBTQ after living with LGBTQ parents. Not only that, but Queer as Folk, by having Hunter prominently date a girl, could still be viewed as falling into the old pattern of insisting, “See, LGBTQ parents don’t make LGBTQ kids.”

We’ve been so afraid that people will think all LGBTQ parents “make” LGBTQ kids that we’ve shied away from showing any who have them. Jude is an indication that we’ve reached a point where we can leave that fear behind, giving children the freedom to explore who they are and parents the freedom to support them.