Happy Mother’s Day to anyone and everyone who calls themselves a mother. Mothering is a big concept, so there’s lots of room for all!
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day can seem designed to underscore that LGBTQ families are different. Many LGBTQ parents have concerns about how schools will approach the events and whether they will, even unintentionally, make our children feel uncomfortable about their families. At the same time, however, they may give us an excuse to have conversations with teachers and with our children about our families, making the occasions into learning experiences rather than anxiety-producing ones.
The fact is, we mothers are a wide-ranging bunch. We include biological moms, nonbiological moms, adoptive moms, birth moms, surrogate moms, foster moms, step moms, gestational moms, genetic moms, chosen moms, lesbian moms, bisexual moms, transgender men who still consider themselves moms to their kids (though not all do), transgender women who took up the title “mom” as they transitioned, gay men (not all, of course) who feel like they fit better into what has traditionally been seen as the mother’s role in parenting (though some may prefer to see this as the expansion of a father’s role), relatives or others who become mother figures to a child, feminine moms, masculine moms, androgynous moms, queer moms, and moms who prefer no label.
We may be coupled, single, separated, divorced, polyamorous, or co-parenting with one or more non-romantic partners. We or our children may be differently abled. We are sometimes the same race, ethnicity, or religion as our children, and sometimes not. Our children may be alive or may have passed from this life. We may be employed outside the home full time, part time, or not at all, by choice or circumstance. We are rich, poor, and in-between. We are moms of one, two, or many. We’re combinations of the above and definitely a varied lot (and I’m sure I missed some variations).
Are we “redefining” motherhood with all of this diversity? I don’t think so. While modern medicine has given us some new ways of conceiving a child, even the Bible has examples of adoptive, surrogate, single, and polygamous moms, as well as biological and married ones. Throughout history and across the world, a wide range of mothers have nurtured, protected, taught, and loved their children while also working, playing, thinking, creating, fighting, building, and otherwise making their own impact on the world. Let’s use today to honor them all.
There’s also no reason we can’t repurpose one or both of the traditional parental holidays to fit our families, or use the entire time between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day to celebrate each of the many people we call “family.” However you observe this season of parental holidays, may your joy in being a family last throughout the year.
Don’t forget that halfway between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is when I host Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day, a time for all bloggers to post in celebration and support of LGBTQ families. In 2016, it’s June 1. Just post at your blog or other public social media channel (including Facebook posts set to “public”) and submit the link to be included on the master list for others to see and share.
