It’s International Women’s Day, and while I support those who are striking today (and will not shop today myself), I don’t think it hurts the cause simply to elevate the Day’s message of “a more inclusive, gender equal world,” especially among my largely female audience. Hence this post about my son and gender equity.
As the child of two moms, our son has watched two women handle everything there is to handle about running a household—from fixing the plumbing to making dinner, going to outside employment and folding the laundry. We have taught him to ride a bike, program a computer, bake a cake, and mow the lawn—in ways that don’t always align with what one might guess based on my spouse’s somewhat more masculine appearance.
We’ve always made a point of exposing him to examples of strong, capable women in both real life and fiction (including, at various ages, PBS’ Word Girl, Disney’s Princess Merida, Nickelodeon’s Korra, and Star Wars’ Leia, Rey, and Jyn Erso). He has plenty of positive male role models, too, both in person and in the media. We’re simply striving for balance.
As he’s grown older, we’ve also talked about gender bias both in settings close to him (e.g., teachers not calling on girls in math class) and in broader arenas (e.g., the gender pay gap). We’ve spoken about treating the girls he knows fairly, even in the face of pressure from his male friends. We’ve discussed how gender bias also puts unrealistic pressure and expectations on people of all genders.
Are we succeeding in raising him to be a feminist and an ally to women? Time and perhaps future relationships will tell—but I was heartened recently when I showed him this picture of President Trump and “CEOs of leading U.S. health insurance companies.” He noted, “It’s all men,” before segueing into his Alec Baldwin-as-Trump impression, “But they’re all great men, yuuuge men. The best men.”
So far, I think he’s doing just fine.
