I’m very pleased to bring you not only a guest post by Robin Fox, a mother of two who shares her family’s experience at Family Week in Provincetown, but also a special discount for Mombian readers who are not yet registered for the event! Read on for details.
We are glad you are here. No, really, We are glad you are here.
We are lucky. My wife and I along with our two children live in a small university town in the Midwest and we feel supported. Not only do we have an amazing group of friends but we have not had some of the negative interactions that some of our LGBTQ* friends have had—those living in small towns or large cities. Of course, we imagine the people in our town who do not know us refer to us as “the nice lesbian couple with the two kids” because there is only one out family that could be described this way. Our friends who do live in large cities where there is an active community of LGBTQ* people often asked us what it is like to live where we live and do we really feel safe and supported. Our answer was always been “yes” we do feel supported. And then we went to Provincetown for Family Week and now my answer is different.
I was surprising my wife for her 40th birthday with a trip to P-Town for Family Week, the largest annual gathering of LGBTQ* parents and their children in the world. We live in Wisconsin so it was no small feat to figure out the arrangements for the four of us along with six other friends and family members. P-Town was a place I had yet to visit and quite honestly was not all that excited about going but my wife had talked about P-Town for years and after we had children, she talked more and more about this thing called Family Week. So plans were made and the surprise went off without any issues.
We arrived at night and just made it to the rental house before there were multiple meltdowns from a day of traveling. The next morning we figured out how to make it to the Family Week brunch and started the walk down Commercial Street. I was overwhelmed immediately as we made a slight turn and there were rainbow flags as far as we could see hanging over the road. This was different then a gay section of a large city—this was the entirety of a small town making us feel welcomed.
Let me go back to where I began—we are lucky and we are surrounded by love in our small Midwestern town. But it wasn’t until coming to Family Week in P-Town that I realized being surrounded by love is not the same as being welcomed by an entire community. While at home I don’t have conscious thoughts (at least not often) about the stress of being one of few out LGBTQ* parents or about safety or about being welcomed in our community. Going to Family Week was a gift I didn’t know I needed. I didn’t realize the stress our family does face on a daily basis until the stress was gone. At Family Week I didn’t have to explain our family, no one asked my kids where their dad was, no one asked intrusive questions about how we formed our family. Instead people went out of their way to let us know our family was beautiful, to make a point to talk about our children without questioning first if they were ours and a myriad of other examples of feeling not just included but welcomed.
The one example that always sticks out for me was so unexpected. We were shopping on Commercial Street a couple days into Family Week when we meandered into one of the adorable shops. We made a purchase and all four of us were at the counter to check out. The person working was wrapping up the transaction, thanked us and then said, “We are glad you are here.” I must have looked surprised because she then said, “No, really, we are glad you are here.” It was all I could do not to burst into tears and I am forever thankful for that act of kindness.
Of course, we have been back to Family Week ever since—and when my wife later took a job with Family Equality, one of the event’s organizers, we knew she was joining a wonderful organization. I look forward to that one week when our family is not simply tolerated by others but instead we are celebrated. For our children to be exposed to this is critical but it is also important for my wife and for me. Family Week is a gift we give to ourselves and to our children. The gift to be truly welcomed as members of the LGBTQ* community is why we keep coming back.
Robin K. Fox holds an undergraduate degree in Early Childhood Education and a minor in Child and Family Studies from the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point, a Master’s degree from the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater in Early Childhood Exceptional Education and a Ph.D. in Curriculum and Instruction with a minor in Educational Administration from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. She is a former Head Start teacher and director, university childcare teacher and director and is now a professor in Curriculum and Instruction. She is Interim Dean of the College of Education and Professional Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater. Dr. Fox is a on the Board of Directors for Adoption Choice, Inc. and President of the Wisconsin Early Childhood Association Board of Directors Her areas of research include teacher preparation and adoption, young children who are gender fluid, and working with schools about how to be inclusive of members of the LGBTQ community. She and her wife have two children.
Family Week 2018 is July 28th — August 4th. For more information and to register to attend 30+ events during the week organized by Family Equality Council, visit www.ptownfamilyweek.com. As a special offer to Mombian readers who have not yet registered for Family Week, use promotional code “Mombian” when registering for a 5% discount.