Two Great Kids’ Books About Pronoun Diversity

Let’s talk pronouns! A new graphic book offers teens and adults a lighthearted yet informative primer on gender neutral pronouns, while another for young children celebrates the many types of people who may use different pronouns.
A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns is a collaboration between the genderqueer Archie Bongiovanni and cisgender man Tristan Jimerson, who appear in the book as illustrated versions of themselves (drawn by Bongiovanni). It’s a clever format, allowing readers both genderqueer and cisgender to find resonance with at least one of the protagonists. “What can I contribute to a conversation that isn’t about me?” the fictionalized Tristan ponders, while Archie replies that if they (Archie) wanted to talk just with nonbinary people, they could do it themselves—“But we’re trying to address this topic for everyone.”

The book exists “so that you don’t have to do all the heavy lifting yourself,” Archie tells us. In short and punchy interactions, laden with Archie’s snark, they and Tristan explain what pronouns are, what it means to be misgendered, and how allies can be supportive, along with tips on living as a nonbinary person. At the end, there are “Quick and Easy Scripts for When You Don’t Know What to Say” in relation to gender neutral pronouns. (And while they focus on they/them, they acknowledge there are other options, too, like ze/hir.)

While the explanations are simple, some of the snark is intense enough that it might not be appropriate for younger children. “If education fails and folks are being jerks, you can also throw this book in their face,” Archie notes at one point. Teens will be able to recognize when this is called for or not; younger children may not. As always, parents should make the call based on their own kids. And references by Tristan to bringing gender neutral language into his workplace aren’t inappropriate, but mark the book as being aimed at an older crowd.

For teens and adults, though, this is a great little volume that gives us education without pedantry or talking down to the reader, making a serious topic into a fun read. It models allyship but also speaks to genderqueer people themselves, and should become a well-used resource.

For younger children, though, Maya Gonzalez and Matthew Smith-Gonzalez’ They She He Me: Free to Be! offers a richly illustrated celebration of pronouns and the various people who may use them. Each spread offers a pronoun and beautiful images of people with differing gender expressions. It starts with “me”—a nice touch to connect with the reader, and proceeds to he, she, they, ze, and even “tree” (a nod to their later suggestion that readers can create their own pronouns). They finish with the community of “we.”

That alone would be enough to make this a wonderful book, but the authors add six pages at the end with simple, affirming explanations about pronouns. “Pronouns can be a way to share how you feel on the inside. Because this inside part is the most important part of you, it cannot be about outside ideas of how people think she or he is ‘supposed’ to act. It has to be about how you feel,” they say. They also encourage people to create and play with pronouns. “Use your imagination to play with how characters in movies and books could feel on the inside,” they suggest. “Begin by using they for different characters. Or change a main character from he to she or from she to he…. Playing like this gives you even bigger ideas about he and she and gives you bigger ideas about how people feel on the inside, including you.”

Whether you use gender neutral pronouns, your child does, you know others who do, or you might someday meet someone who does (as we all might!), these books will affirm and inform!