Sara Lovell is an award-winning singer-songwriter whose third children’s music album is out today! She’s also a single gay mom and answered some questions exclusively for Mombian readers about the origins of the album, being a single parent, and how her family is coping during the pandemic.
Lovell’s new album, Night Life
Some of the tracks are are funny, some are funky, others are melodic and thoughtful, and yes, there are a few lullabies. The last song is even a “Lullaby for Grownups” that smartly puts the child in charge of sending the adults off to sleep (while perhaps also subversively soothing young listeners). Other songs reflect aspects of home life, child’s-eye views of nature and the cosmos, and the world of dreams—all with smart lyrics and melodies that even adults will want to listen to multiple times.
Lovell (and co-writer Monica Pasqual) have crafted the lyrics to include all families—there are no references to any particular parental configurations. Some of the songs, though, speak to themes that LGBTQ families (among others) should definitely appreciate. In “Little Bug,” a child reflects on both differences and similarities; “Rocket” calls listeners to “to be brave and to be strong” as they try new things.
She knows this isn’t a unique situation. “I think all parents know the resistance at bedtime—even without nightmares or fears of the dark—it’s a big separation from the grownup(s) they love, and I’m sure more of that is happening right now, too, with more of the stress we’re all experiencing,” she observed.
Currently, she said, what’s hardest for Gabe is “he’s feeling all of the fearful and stressful energy in the air. Mainly he’s so sad that we have to be away from other people who love him—and anyone, for that matter. He’s incredibly physical and relational and has repeatedly said ‘I hate having to be six feet away from other people.’ He’s definitely missing his friends and his school, too, and really bummed we couldn’t go on a trip we’d planned for his spring break.”
“I’ll have to think of how to have a little vacation at home, maybe with fake palm trees and fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them,” she reflected.
For herself, she said, “I miss being with our friends and collaborating on music. Those things were my fuel and I’ve had to figure out how to find that well-being in new ways.” At the same time, “I have a feeling this [pandemic] is going to go on for quite awhile longer, so I’m sure it will inspire new music. I want to also go back to playing music for music’s sake and not have to be on a timeline for getting the next album out.”
It was initially stressful, though, “to help my son learn at home on a screen and try to get some work accomplished. Plus the feeling of being cooped up and just having the two of us here.”
As a single parent, too, she said, “You’re the only grownup in the household. The one your child vents to, the one he challenges, and now, for most parents, the one who has to oversee/direct/cajole into learning online.”
How is she handling all this? “I’m finding some basics of self-care that have to be maintained, like exercising daily and getting outside,” she said. “I have been loving late afternoon walks and taking photos of flowers. I’m putting these moments in the bank, so to speak.”
“I used to create a lot of visual art as a kid and young adult and I’ve decided to get back into it,” she added. “I’ve let go of a lot of expectations about how to do this shelter-at-home and school and am trying to let us both find the ways to self-soothe and connect with each other.” She’s also been trying to find things her son might be interested in learning on his own—one hit was a Mo Willems’ “Lunch Doodles” drawing video.
Above all, I recommend to lower expectations of your child’s schooling and your ability to manage it all.
“My advice for single parents at this time is to call me for a Zoom cocktail or tea after you get your kid to sleep!” she said. “Above all, I recommend to lower expectations of your child’s schooling and your ability to manage it all. Take care of yourself first and do it in ways that might feel like going overboard—but believe me, you’re going to need every ounce of care and self-connection to have the resources to parent your child.” (Those who want to contact her for cocktails or any other reason can send an e-mail via her website.)
She also jokes that while she’s gay, “They might take my card away because I haven’t had much time to get out and find a partner since I adopted my child. I think it would be pretty wild if I decided to try Zoom dating right now and ended up meeting my partner that way!” (Ed. note: I have it on good authority that those cards are for life, partner or no.)
Although her new album was produced before the pandemic, Lovell hopes it can offer some comfort to both parents and children right now. She explained, “I hope families will hear themselves in the songs and can see their own authentic experiences with added humor, tenderness, and curiosity. I hope it makes them feel even closer to each other and can help them celebrate this life together, especially in these unique and unsteady times, and help remind us what it means to be human.”
Listen to Night Life below or stream it on any of the major music services.
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