The First Queer Families to Benefit from Connecticut’s New, Comprehensive Parentage Law

Two queer couples and their children have become the first LGBTQ families to benefit from the Connecticut Parentage Act (CPA), which Connecticut Rep. Jeff Currey (D), the bill’s lead sponsor, said “may be the most impactful moment for LGBTQ families since marriage equality.”

Acknowledgments of Parentage

Yesterday, Stephanie and Denise Ocasio-Gonzalez, married parents of 2-year-old Dessanie and 14-year-old Jayvin, and Emily Pagano and Rachel Prehodka-Spindel, unmarried parents of infant twins and 3-year-old Dylan, signed free, simple Acknowledgment of Parentage (AOP) forms during a special ceremony at the Legislative Office Building in Hartford, securing equal legal protections for their children. “Federal law requires states to provide a simple civil process for acknowledging parentage upon the birth of a child, the Acknowledgment of Parentage program,” explained GLBTQ Legal Advocates and Defenders (GLAD) in a press release. “Properly executed, an Acknowledgment of Parentage has the binding force of a court order and should be treated as valid recognition of parentage in all states.” The CPA, one of the most comprehensive parentage laws in the country, went into effect on January 1 and now makes AOPs available to parents of any gender.

AOP forms can be filled out in the hospital before or after a child’s birth or at a Department of Social Services Office for an older child. They have traditionally been used in every state (where they are sometimes called Voluntary Acknowledgments of Parentage (VAPs)) to allow unmarried genetic fathers to be recognized as parents. Only 10 states, however (California, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Nevada, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington, and now Connecticut), allow them for parents of any gender, including intended parents through assisted reproduction. (Massachusetts allows them only for unmarried couples, but a pending bill could expand this; see below.)

Stephanie gave birth to Dessanie after many fertility challenges. She and Denise had planned to get a confirmatory (second-parent) adoption after the child was born. (For an explanation of why being on a child’s birth certificate is not enough, see this post.) Stephanie had to undergo a C-section, however, and shortly afterwards, Denise was in a car accident that left her injured. Needing to heal and without a means of transportation, they postponed the adoption. Not only that, but like so many other queer parents, they felt it was insulting and inequitable for Denise to have to adopt the child she had jointly planned for and was raising. Now, with an AOP, they have avoided hassle, expense, and insult and ensured that Dessanie has the legal protection of both her parents.

Another couple, Emily Pagano and Rachel Prehodka-Spindel, signed AOPs yesterday for three of their children. They have been together for many years, but decided that marriage was not for them. They had their daughter Dylan via reciprocal in vitro fertilization (RIVF), with Emily carrying the child created with Rachel’s egg. Later, Rachel became pregnant with twins through RIVF, using Emily’s eggs. Despite their reciprocity, each was only recognized as a parent for the child(ren) she carried, which led to numerous obstacles. They had to pay for two separate insurance plans. Rachel was denied voting membership in the Parents Committee at Dylan’s public pre-school. When the whole family came down with COVID recently, Rachel wasn’t permitted to be Dylan’s medical proxy, which delayed their getting her test results.

Emily said in the press release that it was “a tremendous relief” to sign the AOPs. “As unmarried parents, we’ve faced frustrating and sometimes scary hurdles just trying to take care of our kids,” she said. “We are so grateful that we won’t have to fight these types of battles anymore, and neither will other Connecticut families.”

Representative Jeff Currey, lead sponsor of the CPA, said, “With equal access to the Acknowledgment of Parentage program Connecticut’s LGBTQ families can now be protected here at home and wherever they travel. I’m proud to see our state take this historic step today to ensure that all children, and all families, are equally protected by our laws.”

For more about the CAP and AOPs in Connecticut, visit GLAD’s FAQ page.

Beyond AOPs

The CPA, which was championed by many organizations and individuals as part of the We Care Coalition, does more than expand access to AOPs, however. It better protects all children, regardless of the circumstances of their birth or the marital status, gender, or sexual orientation of their parents. This includes children born to nonbiological, non-marital parents, who had been wholly unprotected in the state’s parentage laws. It also sets standards to protect parents, child, and surrogate in families formed through surrogacy, and removes gender-specific language from parentage laws.

Stephanie and Denise are among those who will benefit from these other provisions. When they started dating in 2010, Stephanie already had a 3-year-old son, Jayvin, who is now 14. Denise has been a parent to Jayvin in every way at home and beyond. Most importantly, Jayvin sees Denise as his mom. Nevertheless, Denise has no legal relationship with Jayvin. If something happens to Stephanie, Jayvin could be separated from Denise and from his little sister.

Before the CPA, their only option would have been for Denise to adopt Jayvin, which would have required difficult litigation that ended the rights of Jayvin’s birth father, who is not involved in his life. Under the CPA, however, Denise will simply be recognized as an equal, legal de facto parent without a legal battle. The de facto parent provisions of the CPA don’t go into effect until July 1, but Stephanie said, “We are thrilled to be so much closer to having full security for our entire family.”

“The Connecticut Parentage Act is one of the most child-centered, inclusive and comprehensive parentage laws in the country,” said Yale Law Professor Douglas NeJaime, principal drafter of the CPA. “With this law in effect, Connecticut families will now be treated equally, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or marital status and LGBTQ parents and their children across the state will be more secure.”

Massachusetts, You’re Up

The Connecticut Parentage Act is based on the model Uniform Parentage Act of 2017 (UPA), a legal framework created by the non-partisan Uniform Law Commission. California, Maine, Rhode Island, Washington, and Vermont have also recently updated their parentage laws to incorporate recommendations from the UPA. In Massachusetts, the UPA-based Massachusetts Parentage Act currently in the legislature would likewise update the state’s law to ensure all children there have the security of legal parentage, regardless of the circumstances of their birth. Among other provisions, it would extend VAPs to unmarried as well as married couples of any gender. The bill had a hearing  in front of the Legislature’s Joint Committee on the Judiciary last November,

“A secure legal parent-child relationship is core to a child’s long-term stability and well-being, and as of today all Connecticut children have access to that security regardless of the gender or marital status of their parents or the circumstances of their birth.” said Polly Crozier, senior staff attorney at GLAD. “I hope other states, including neighboring Massachusetts, will soon follow Connecticut’s excellent example by updating their parentage laws to ensure all children have equal access to parentage.”

Learn more about the Massachusetts bill and what you can do to help it pass during this session of the Legislature.