Not one, but two LGBTQ-inclusive guides for young people about puberty, gender, bodies, and sex are coming out this month. One is the long-awaited third volume in an acclaimed series, the other is backed by the imprimatur of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), and both are excellent.
You Know, Sex: Bodies, Gender, Puberty, and Other Things, by sex educator Cory Silverberg and cartoonist and educator Fiona Smyth (Triangle Square), follows the duo’s 2013 What Makes a Baby (for 3- to 7-year-olds) and their 2015 Stonewall Honor book Sex Is a Funny Word (for 7- to 10-year-olds), which were notable for their all-gender-inclusive language. Their latest offering, aimed at youth over 10 years old, is a worthy successor. It covers topics one might expect in a book about puberty, such as physical and emotional changes, but does so within a positive, empowering framework grounded in social justice and body autonomy—and that is what makes it stand out.
The book is loosely structured around the lives of four fictional youth (whom we first met in Sex Is a Funny Word), and formatted like a graphic novel, using the authors’ words and Smyth’s signature bold, colorful illustrations. The authors also weave in a bevy of other characters and experiences to ensure a wide variety of representation across racial/ethnic identities, LGBTQ identities, family types, physical abilities, and more—and through slogans on their clothing and in their rooms, the characters show their support for such causes as Black Lives Matter, #MeToo, and reproductive rights. These are young people who care about what’s happening in the world around them, even as the world impacts their views on sex and sexuality.
Ideas of respect, trust, power, choice, joy, and justice underlie chapters on bodies, gender, feelings, consent, talking about sex, stigma, families (formed in many ways), relationships, reproduction, touching (including a broad definition of what it means to have sex), online and in-person safety, and more. Among other things, readers learn about sex versus gender, and about different gender identities and sexual orientations. There are LGBTQ characters and queer relationships throughout the book, in fact, not only in LGBTQ-specific topic areas, and all discussions of bodies and genitalia fully include people of all genders.
While the book offers plenty of information, its real benefit is in the framework it provides for thinking and talking about sex and sexuality in the context of family, community, culture, and personal values. Readers will gain tools they can use to gather information and make the best decisions for themselves as they grow in their bodies and relationships. Despite the sometimes weighty topics, however, there is also a lot of humor here, in addition to the sheer visual fun of the book. Young people should find much to keep them coming back to it throughout puberty and beyond. Arguably the most comprehensive and inclusive book on puberty to date, it deserves to be read by every young person. Full review.
You-ology: A Puberty Guide for EVERY Body, by medical doctors Melisa Holmes, Trish Hutchison, and Kathryn Lowe (AAP), also anchors itself in the stories of several fictional characters and their friends, including a trans girl, a trans boy, a gender creative boy, and a nonbinary child, among others. It adopts a more traditional text format, with accompanying images, but similarly covers the physical and emotional changes of puberty in a way fully inclusive of all genders.
You-ology feels aimed at slightly younger tweens, however (the publisher says ages 9 to 12); in contrast to You Know, Sex, it doesn’t discuss intimate relationships or sex with others, although it does cover friendships, cliques, bullying, crushes, and masturbation, and offers guidance around porn and online safety. It also includes information on what it means to be transgender, nonbinary, and genderfluid, among other identities, and touches on pronouns, binders, and tucking. Additionally, it acknowledges that puberty may not feel right to trans and nonbinary kids, who “might be prescribed a medication to pause puberty.”
With the imprimatur of the AAP, You-ology carries weight that may be needed when books are evaluated for sex ed classes, and it’s likely to be recommended by many pediatricians. Engaging, informative, and inclusive, it’s a great pick for any young person approaching or in puberty. Full review.
You Know, Sex offers more about sex and all kinds of relationships, as well as heavier subjects like consent, birth control, abortion, abuse, trauma, and healing. Additionally, it goes deeper on many LGBTQ-related topics, including being intersex, asexual, and two-spirit, as well as different types of families (including chosen ones) and family formation.
At 158 lightly illustrated pages, You-ology feels like a less imposing read than You Know, Sex. The latter clocks in at a whopping 432 pages but offers more depth and breadth (although its graphic format has fewer words than an all-text book of that length). I say that as information, not judgment; different readers (and their adults) may be seeking different things at different times. Compared to either of these books, however, other similar offerings for this age group are either less comprehensive, less LGBTQ inclusive, or both. Ideally, both books will be on the shelves to appeal to different types and ages of readers.
Sex Is a Funny Word has already been frequently challenged and sometimes banned in communities where it was deemed inappropriate. I suspect that You Know, Sex and You-ology will face similar obstacles, if not more, not only because they are about bodies and sexuality (always a touchy subject), but because they are inclusive of transgender and nonbinary identities and supportive of affirming care for these youth—care that is tragically being questioned in Texas and other states. We need to fight any attempts to ban these books, however—and in fact, we need to get them into the hands of as many young people as possible—for the content they cover is vital and perhaps even life saving for young people of all identities.
You Know, Sex comes out April 12; You-ology comes out April 19. Both are available for preorder.
Originally published with slight variation as my Mombian newspaper column.