Tiktok Chief Operating Officer V Pappas has said publicly that they identify as both a woman and nonbinary, and cited their kids as a primary reason for the announcement.
Pappas explained on Twitter and LinkedIn Monday that they have updated their pronouns on social media and want to explain why that matters. Pappas, who noted they are pansexual and raising kids with a same-sex spouse, said, “As most of you know I take a lot of lessons from being a parent. Often my kids provide me with self reflection through their questions and own exploration of ideas.” Their family spends time talking about the importance of various aspects of diversity, embracing differences, and allowing all voices to be heard, in order to foster a more inclusive community, they explained. “As a parent I also want to set an example on how its ok to represent yourself in a way that you most identify with and to have pride and to celebrate such difference.”
They clarified their own identity by stating, “I use both they/them and she/her as I still very much value my identity as being both a woman and non-binary.”
Despite being “fairly private” about their personal life, they said, “I did feel it important to bring my whole self to work and to share my gender identity and preferred pronouns.” They also said they realize that in their position, they have the ability to foster visibility and acceptance.
Pappas is hardly the first queer parent to cite their kids as inspiration for coming out or making other large life decisions—though it’s always great to see another. In just two recent other high-profile examples, Australian rugby player Ellia Green last August came out as a trans man, the first Olympian to do so, and said his kids were his inspiration. And last week, WNBA star Candace Parker announced that she is leaving the Chicago Sky to join the Las Vegas Aces, in order to “be there” for her wife and kids.
Congratulations to Pappas for living their truth and sharing it with the world.
Added note: Although Pappas uses the term “preferred pronouns,” many trans and nonbinary people avoid that phrasing, because, as GLAAD explains, “it implies that trans people’s pronouns are a preference, not a fact.” (Same for “sexual preference” in regard to sexual orientation.) Now, as a cisgender person, I’m not going to tell Pappas what phrase they should use—I just want to alert readers, especially us cis folks, that it’s usually a wording best avoided by us (though as with much terminology around identity, it can depend on the specific person you’re speaking with. Ask respectfully if you’re not sure and you have a need to know.)