ChatGPT, the artificial intelligence chatbot developed by OpenAI, has taken the world by storm, impacting everything from college essays to call centers to computer programming. More than a search engine, it can create its own answers from the information it accesses. It is only as good as that information, however—and as with other technology solutions, may come with biases and errors from its human creators. This led me to wonder: What will ChatGPT tell me about LGBTQ families and resources for them?
I first asked it, “How do children do with LGBTQ parents?” It responded: “Research suggests that children raised by LGBTQ parents do just as well as those raised by heterosexual parents.” In fact, it said, studies have shown they may actually have some advantages: “They tend to have more diverse and open-minded attitudes towards sexuality and gender, and may be more accepting of diversity in general.”
It added, “The most important factor in a child’s well-being is the quality of the relationship between the child and their parents, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. As long as children are loved, supported, and provided with a stable and nurturing environment, they can thrive regardless of their parents’ sexual orientation.” (See ChatGPT’s full answers below, if you’re interested.)
That tracks with the research I know. I then asked, “What are the challenges of being an LGBTQ parent?” It listed legal challenges, social stigma, lack of representation, safety concerns, and navigating healthcare. It concluded, however, “Despite these challenges, LGBTQ parents are resilient and resourceful, and many find ways to build strong and loving families despite the obstacles they face.” Indeed.
I had to ask the counterbalancing question, “What are the good parts of being an LGBTQ parent?” ChatGPT mentioned building a family on your own terms; teaching children about diversity, acceptance, and the value of different types of families; creating a supportive community with strong networks of other LGBTQ parents and allies; challenging stereotypes and breaking down barriers; being more resilient and resourceful because of the challenges; and developing a strong sense of advocacy for themselves and their families. “Overall, LGBTQ parenting can be a fulfilling and rewarding experience, just like any other form of parenting,” it said. I don’t disagree.
I then tried a question about a specific segment of our community that I knew to have fewer resources, asking, “What are some resources for transgender men who want to get pregnant?” ChatGPT offered the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, Trans Fertility Co, and Family Equality, all relevant sites, plus one (LGBT Family Building) that does not seem to exist (though it is a page title within many other sites, not specific to trans fertility), and one organization (The Association for Fertility and Reproductive Health) that not only has no resources for trans parents, but is based in Nigeria, whose laws are very hostile to LGBTQ people. Chat GPT did conclude on the affirming note, “By seeking out resources and support, transgender men can take the necessary steps to start or expand their families in a safe and supportive environment.”
Can ChatGPT recommend books for kids in LGBTQ families? It suggested: And Tango Makes Three, by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell; Heather Has Two Mommies, by Lesléa Newman; George, by Alex Gino (which it didn’t know was renamed to Melissa a couple of years ago); Julián is a Mermaid, by Jessica Love, and Red: A Crayon’s Story, by Michael Hall (which isn’t about LGBTQ identity per se, but ChatGPT rightly noted “has been interpreted as a metaphor for the LGBTQ community”).
These are great titles, but all are five or more years old. I ran the query with slight variation a few times, and ChatGPT mostly responded with on-target recommendations, even sticking with ones after 2019 when I asked for “recent” books. A couple of times it came back with titles that do not seem to exist, however.
I went further, because Chat GPT can do more than a search engine, and asked if it could create a story about a boy with two moms. It did—and spun the tale of a boy named Alex who loves spending time with his moms. One day at the park, however, he overhears some other kids saying, “Alex has two moms? That’s weird!” and “Don’t you need a dad to be a real family?” His moms explain, “Families come in all shapes and sizes, and what matters most is that they love and support each other.” Alex tells the other kids he loves both of his moms, who take care of him and make him happy, and “That’s what family is all about.” The other kids realize that “having two moms was just as normal and wonderful as having a mom and a dad.” Alex felt pride in his family from then on.
This storyline is affirming, yes—but it’s one I’ve seen in numerous LGBTQ-inclusive kids’ books, particularly pre-2015 or so, in which having same-sex parents is problematized or questioned before being shown to be just fine. It’s perhaps the trope-iest trope of the genre (although it may sometimes have pedagogical value). I don’t think real authors will be put out of work by ChatGPT anytime soon.
Overall, then, ChatGPT seems to be appropriately inclusive and supportive of LGBTQ families, hearteningly reflecting the state of the broad information ocean from which it draws. It may not always give accurate recommendations for resources, however, and is not yet as creative as a human storyteller. As with much technology, it can be a useful tool, but still needs a human to confirm what it tells us.
Originally published as my Mombian newspaper column.
Full Answers from ChatGPT
How do children do with LGBTQ parents?
Research suggests that children raised by LGBTQ parents do just as well as those raised by heterosexual parents. A meta-analysis of several studies on the well-being of children raised by same-sex parents found that there were no significant differences in emotional, social, or academic outcomes compared to children raised by heterosexual parents.
In fact, studies have shown that children raised by LGBTQ parents may actually have some advantages. For example, they tend to have more diverse and open-minded attitudes towards sexuality and gender, and may be more accepting of diversity in general.
It’s important to note that the most important factor in a child’s well-being is the quality of the relationship between the child and their parents, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. As long as children are loved, supported, and provided with a stable and nurturing environment, they can thrive regardless of their parents’ sexual orientation.
What are the challenges of being an LGBTQ parent?
LGBTQ parents face a number of challenges that are unique to their sexual orientation or gender identity, including:
- Legal challenges: In many places, LGBTQ parents face legal challenges when it comes to adoption, surrogacy, and other forms of assisted reproduction. They may face discrimination or barriers when trying to start a family, and may have difficulty securing legal rights to their children.
- Social stigma: LGBTQ parents may face social stigma or discrimination from others who do not understand or accept their sexual orientation or gender identity. This can be particularly challenging when it comes to interacting with other parents, teachers, and school officials.
- Lack of representation: LGBTQ parents may feel isolated or invisible in mainstream parenting communities, where the majority of parents are heterosexual and cisgender. They may struggle to find resources, support, and representation that reflects their experiences.
- Safety concerns: LGBTQ parents may also face safety concerns for themselves and their children. They may worry about discrimination or violence directed towards them or their children because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
- Navigating healthcare: LGBTQ parents may encounter healthcare providers who are not knowledgeable or accepting of their sexual orientation or gender identity. This can make it difficult to access healthcare for themselves or their children.
Despite these challenges, LGBTQ parents are resilient and resourceful, and many find ways to build strong and loving families despite the obstacles they face.
What are the good parts of being an LGBTQ parent?
There are many good parts of being an LGBTQ parent, including:
- Building a family on your own terms: LGBTQ parents often have to be intentional and proactive about building their families, which can lead to a strong sense of purpose and pride in their family.
- Teaching children about diversity and acceptance: LGBTQ parents have an opportunity to teach their children about diversity, acceptance, and the value of different types of families. This can help raise children who are more compassionate, open-minded, and accepting of others.
- Creating a supportive community: LGBTQ parents often build strong networks of support with other LGBTQ parents and allies who understand their experiences and can offer emotional and practical support.
- Challenging stereotypes: LGBTQ parents challenge stereotypes and break down barriers by demonstrating that families come in all shapes, sizes, and configurations.
- Building resilience: LGBTQ parents often face significant challenges, which can make them more resilient and resourceful. They may also develop a strong sense of advocacy for themselves and their families.
Overall, LGBTQ parenting can be a fulfilling and rewarding experience, just like any other form of parenting. By creating a loving and supportive environment for their children, LGBTQ parents can raise happy, healthy, and well-adjusted children who thrive in all areas of life.
What are some resources for transgender men who want to get pregnant?
Here are some resources for transgender men who want to get pregnant:
- The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) – This organization offers guidelines and standards of care for transgender individuals, including those who wish to pursue fertility treatment.
- Trans Fertility Co – This organization provides support and resources for transgender men who want to get pregnant, including information on fertility options, legal considerations, and healthcare providers.
- Family Equality Council – This organization provides resources and support for LGBTQ families, including those with transgender parents. They offer a variety of programs and services, including online support groups and advocacy efforts.
- LGBT Family Building – This website offers a directory of fertility clinics and reproductive specialists who are knowledgeable and accepting of LGBTQ individuals and families, including transgender men who want to get pregnant.
- The Association for Fertility and Reproductive Health – This organization offers information and resources on fertility and reproductive health, including information on fertility treatments for transgender men.
- The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) – This organization offers information and resources on fertility treatments, including options for transgender men who want to get pregnant.
It’s important for transgender men who want to get pregnant to find healthcare providers who are knowledgeable and accepting of their unique needs and experiences. By seeking out resources and support, transgender men can take the necessary steps to start or expand their families in a safe and supportive environment.
What are some good LGBTQ kids’ books?
There are many great LGBTQ kids’ books that are available, and here are some examples:
- “And Tango Makes Three” by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell – This is a children’s book based on the true story of two male penguins who raised a chick together in the Central Park Zoo. It is a heartwarming story that teaches children about love and acceptance.
- “Heather Has Two Mommies” by Lesléa Newman – This book tells the story of a young girl named Heather who has two moms. It is a classic in LGBTQ children’s literature and has been updated with new illustrations.
- “George” by Alex Gino – This book is about a transgender girl named George who wants to play the lead role in her school’s production of “Charlotte’s Web.” It is a powerful story about identity and acceptance.
- “Julián is a Mermaid” by Jessica Love – This book tells the story of a young boy who loves mermaids and wants to dress up as one for the Coney Island Mermaid Parade. It is a beautiful book about self-expression and acceptance.
- “Red: A Crayon’s Story” by Michael Hall – This book tells the story of a blue crayon that has been mislabeled as red. It is a story about identity and finding your true self, and it has been interpreted as a metaphor for the LGBTQ community.
These are just a few examples of the many great LGBTQ kids’ books that are available. There are many more out there, and I encourage you to explore them with the children in your life.
Write me a story about a boy with two moms.
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Alex who had two moms. Alex’s moms were named Samantha and Maria, and they loved Alex more than anything in the world.
Alex was a happy and energetic child, and he loved spending time with his moms. They would play games together, read books, and go on adventures. Sometimes they would take long walks in the park and look at the clouds, or go to the beach and build sandcastles.
One day, when Alex was playing at the park with his moms, he overheard some other kids talking. They were saying things like, “Alex has two moms? That’s weird!” and “Don’t you need a dad to be a real family?”
At first, Alex didn’t know what to do. He felt sad and confused, and he didn’t want anyone to think that his family was weird. But then he remembered something his moms had told him: “Families come in all shapes and sizes, and what matters most is that they love and support each other.”
With that in mind, Alex decided to talk to the other kids. He said, “Hey, I have two moms, and I love them both. They take care of me and make me happy. That’s what family is all about.”
To his surprise, the other kids listened to him and started to understand. They realized that families really do come in all shapes and sizes, and that having two moms was just as normal and wonderful as having a mom and a dad.
From then on, Alex felt proud of his family and all the love they shared. He knew that no matter what anyone else thought, his moms were the best parents in the world, and he was lucky to have them in his life. And with that, Alex continued to live a happy and fulfilling life with his two amazing moms.