Back-to-School Resources for LGBTQ Parents: 2023 Edition

• Schools/Education • back to school

I’ve seen my son through 12 years of public school, so here are some of my best tips for other LGBTQ parents, plus my annual resource list about creating welcoming schools, developing inclusive curricula, supporting LGBTQ youth in sports, countering book bans, and more.

These two pieces encapsulate many of my thoughts and offer some useful (I hope) advice and inspiration:

Additionally, Family Equality’s Chief Policy Officer, Shelbi Day, and Director of Education Law & Policy, Senior Policy Counsel Nikhil Vashee, spoke with me last year about “What LGBTQ Families Should Know for Back-to-School Time,” and much what they shared is still relevant. I particularly appreciate Vashee’s assertion, “Your family has nothing to be ashamed of, and your children deserve the right to learn and grow in a classroom that affirms their family composition no matter what.”

One excellent new resource is Safe Schools for All, a project from GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders (GLAD), GLSEN, the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), and PFLAG, with information about student rights and what to do if you experience bullying, harassment, or discrimination.

I also wrote the other day about LGBTQ-inclusive picture books with school themes, often revolving around a first day of school. I hope these are helpful for the beginning of the year—but for more LGBTQ-inclusive books for ages 0-12, which may be useful year-round in classrooms and school libraries, please see my full Database of LGBTQ Family Books.

For even more resources, below is a categorized list of links that I hope offers even more useful information. Click the headings to expand each section.

I wish you and your children a happy and safe school year, full of learning and fun.

For All Ages—General Resources

  • GLSEN prides itself on “Championing LGBTQ issues in K-12 education since 1990.” They offer a wealth of resources, some of which are further detailed below.
  • Family Equality has several handbooks and factsheets that offer specific suggestions for communicating with your children’s school(s) and ways that educators can help create welcoming, inclusive spaces.
  • Our Family Coalition, the organization for LGBTQ families in California, offers a number of school-related resources, including training and professional development; a list of schools that have had such trainings; and an annual LGBTQ-Inclusive Preschool Fair for parents.
  • Learning for Justice (formerly Teaching Tolerance) offers “Best Practices for Serving LGBTQ Students,” a useful compact reference for classrooms of all ages. They also provide other resources on gender and sexual identity as well as materials for inclusion and support across many other aspects of identity.
  • The Trevor Project, which provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention for LGBTQ youth, offers resources for understanding and supporting LGBTQ youth.
  • The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention offers a Model School District Policy for Suicide Prevention that is LGBTQ inclusive but not exclusive.
  • Teach All Families is full of information and resources for parents and teachers who want to make schools more inclusive of LGBTQ-parented and other diverse families. It was created by Dr. Abbie Goldberg, clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at Clark University, based on over 20 years of research.

For Young Children

For Older Children

Many resources aimed at older students focus on LGBTQ youth, but most also have applicability to children of LGBTQ parents, whatever the children’s sexual orientation or gender identity.

  • GLSEN again is a good resource here, with materials on creating an inclusive curriculum, Gender and Sexuality Alliance tools, and research about the impact of homophobia and transphobia. Of particular note is Unheard Voices, an oral history and curriculum project done in partnership with in partnership with the Anti-Defamation League and StoryCorps, to help educators integrate LGBTQ history, people, and issues into instructional programs for grades 6-12.
  • GLSEN also manages a number of programs/events to engage school communities of all grades throughout the academic year, including Solidarity Week, ThinkB4YouSpeak, the Day of Silence, No Name-Calling Week, and the Safe Space Kit.
  • PFLAG’s Safe Schools for All: Cultivating Respect program has similar materials (in English and Spanish) for making schools safer, reducing bullying, and providing comprehensive health education. They also offer PFLAG Academy Online, with free, monthly learning sessions on topics including how to help create safe schools.
  • The Genders and Sexualities Alliance Network (formerly the Gay-Straight Alliance Network) has great materials for starting or sustaining a GSA.
  • The 2018 LGBTQ Youth Report from the HRC Foundation and the University of Connecticut is an insightful survey of 12,000+ LGBTQ teenagers across the nation about their daily lives at home, at school, and in their communities.

For College Students

  • Campus Pride is a national organization for student leaders and campus groups working to create a safer college environment for LGBTQ students. Among other work, they publish the annual Campus Pride Index to assess institutions’ LGBTQ friendliness.
  • The Point Foundation offers scholarships to promising LGBTQ students and promotes change through scholarship funding, mentorship, leadership development, and community service training.
  • The LGBTQ+ Student Scholarship Database from HRC is a list of scholarships, fellowships and grants for LGBTQ+ and allied students at both the undergraduate and graduate-level.

For All Ages—Specific to Transgender and Nonbinary Students

For All Ages—Mostly for Educators

Curricular Resources

  • Welcoming Schools offers numerous lesson plans for “building welcoming, affirming LGBTQ+ and gender inclusive schools.”
  • History Unerased offers resources and training for K-12 teachers on LGBTQ-inclusive academic content.
  • Learning for Justice (formerly Teaching Tolerance) has LGBTQ-related lesson plans, student texts, and many more resources.
  • Our Family Coalition manages Teaching LGBTQ History, which provides lesson plans and other resources to fulfill the curricular requirements of California’s FAIR Education Act (but may be useful to educators in other states).
  • Queer Kid Stuff has lesson plans (including a Remote Learning Social Justice course), posters, worksheets, songs, and other resources for educators.
  • The Queer Mathematics Teacher offers a number of resources, including LGBTQ+ culturally responsive mathematics tasks for elementary, middle, and high school students.
  • Gender Inclusive Classrooms, created by two elementary school educators, has tool to foster safe, welcoming gender-inclusive classrooms.
  • Gender Inclusive Biology offers examples of adapting curriculum to Next-Generation Science Standards (NGSS) and gender-inclusive standards, as well as resources for advocating to administration and others.
  • The American Association of School Librarians has published “Defending Intellectual Freedom: LGBTQ+ Materials in School Libraries,” a resource guide (with a cool infographic) that “uses the AASL Standards framework as scaffolding to help users explore LGBTQ+ materials and needs in their own communities.”
  • Reading the Rainbow: LGBTQ-Inclusive Literacy Instruction in the Elementary Classroom, by Caitlin L. Ryan and Jill M. Hermann-Wilmarth, is aimed at helping elementary school English language arts (ELA) teachers introduce or deepen classroom discussions around LGBTQ identity and gender, even in schools resistant to such topics.
  • Queer Adolescent Literature as a Complement to the English Language Arts Curriculum, ed. Paula Greathouse, Brooke Eisenbach, and Joan F. Kaywell, offers 6th to 12th grade ELA educators guided instructional approaches for including queer-themed young adult literature.
  • One book that may be in some school libraries, but that should be used only with care is LGBTQAI+Books for Children and Teens, by Christina Dorr and Liz Deskins. This compact guide includes suggested books for young, middle grade, and teen readers, along with discussion questions. The book’s heart is in the right place—but includes a number of errors (notably one where they misgender a transgender girl character), so readers should exercise caution.

Professional Development

Children’s/Middle Grade/YA Book Recommendations

  • My own database of 1000+ items with reviews, searchable and filterable by age, identity, and topic, from picture books (including board books) through middle grade—plus guides, memoirs, and more for LGBTQ parents.
  • The American Library Association’s annual Rainbow List offers LGBTQ-inclusive children’s and young adult books chosen by a committee of librarians for quality as well as content. See also the lists from Family Equality and Welcoming Schools.
  • Jaime Campbell Naidoo’s Rainbow Family Collections is an annotated guide to nearly 250 LGBTQ-inclusive books and media for children through grade five. It’s a few years old now (2012), but still valuable.
  • For young adult books, try Queer Books for Teens, “a comprehensive list of all LGBTQIAP+ YA titles published between 2000 and 2020,” compiled by a team of librarians and other book experts. They also offer several “Best of Lists” on various sub-topics.

Free LGBTQ-Inclusive Books for Schools

  • Hope in a Box donates LGBTQ-inclusive books and curriculum guides to educators.
  • The Pride and Less Prejudice Project provides age-appropriate LGBTQ books for Pre-K to 3rd grade classrooms.
  • The Make It Safe Project donates books about sexual orientation and gender identity to schools, youth homeless shelters, and juvenile detention centers.
  • Open Books (formerly Gender Nation) provides school libraries with LGBTQ+ affirming literature.
  • GLSEN’s Rainbow Library sends LGBTQ+ affirming K-12 text sets to schools and libraries in many states.
  • The Unicorn Express will send a free, LGBTQ-inclusive book to any student in a state or district with book bans, or who otherwise has trouble accessing them.

Books for Grown-Ups on LGBTQ Inclusion and Schools

Book Bans and Challenges

If your school, school district, or public library tries to ban or restrict LGBTQ-inclusive children’s books (or any others), a few good resources are:

Educational Films and Videos

Sports-Related Resources

  • GLSEN’s Changing the Game project features resources for athletes, athletic administrators, coaches, and parents, inspirational videos about people making a difference, and the Team Respect Challenge pledge.
  • Athlete Ally, founded by straight college wrestling coach Hudson Taylor (a former three-time NCAA Division I All-American wrestler), runs public awareness campaigns and educational programs, and mobilizes ally Ambassadors in collegiate, professional and Olympic sports.
  • The National Center for Lesbian Rights has long been a powerhouse of advocacy and education on sports and more, and offers legal assistance to LGBTQ athletes and coaches.
  • The Movement Advancement Project offers a map of Bans on Transgender Youth Participation in Sports.
  • Transathlete, created by Team USA member and trans man Chris Mosier, has a lot of resources and information.

Anti-bullying (LGBTQ-specific and not)

  • The Matthew Shepard Foundation has a number of resources for educators and others specific to anti-LGBTQ bullying.
  • Not in Our Town offers training, films, lesson plans, resources, and more (including some materials in Spanish) to help students and teachers create safe and inclusive school communities. LGBTQ-inclusive materials include “Our Family: A Film About Family Diversity,” a free YouTube video made in partnership with Our Family Coalition.
  • Stopbullying.gov has many good general resources about bullying and cyberbullying, and includes content on LGBTQ youth.
  • GLAAD organizes the annual Spirit Day each fall as a sign of support for bullied LGBTQ youth.
  • The It Gets Better project continues to spread messages and videos of hope to bullied LGBTQ youth.
  • Beyond Differences is a student-led organization that works to “inspire students at all middle schools nationwide to end social isolation and create a culture of belonging for everyone.” They organize several national days of awareness and action throughout the year.
  • Many state LGBTQ organizations’ websites also have information on state-specific anti-bullying laws.
  • The U.S. Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division and the Department of Education have published the guide “Confronting Anti-LGBTQI+ Harassment in Schools: A Resource for Students and Families” (PDF).

Research

Legislative and Legal Resources

When all else fails, several organizations offer legal assistance to LGBTQ parents, youth, and others, often in school settings. Links are to their youth-specific pages, when available.

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