A new study has found that most middle and high school students with LGBTQ+ parents or caregivers experienced harassment or exclusion at school because of their families—but while that’s a call to action, let’s also dig deeper.
“Experiences of Students with LGBTQ+ Caregivers and their Families in K-12 Schools,” from GLSEN, COLAGE, and Family Equality, is a follow-up to the organizations’ 2008 “Involved, Invisible, Ignored,” the first comprehensive report on LGBTQ+ families’ experiences in education, which I covered here. A new report has long been needed—much of the school-related research on LGBTQ+ topics has focused on LGBTQ+ young people, and not students with LGBTQ+ parents (although there is obviously some overlap between them). And much of the little research that has been done on LGBTQ+ families in schools, the new report reminds us, has focused on the experiences of parents and caregivers, not the students themselves.
The new report is based on two surveys. One was of 455 young people who were at least 14 years old, attended high school or middle school during the 2021-2022 year, and have at least one LGBTQ+ parent(s) and/or caregiver(s). The second was of 1,431 LGBTQ+ parents and caregivers with at least one child in school. (Parents with more than one were asked to respond about their eldest.)
The data was collected in the summer of 2022, towards the beginning of the unprecedented rise in anti-LGBTQ legislation and rhetoric, and so the report “does not reflect the impact of the bills on the current school climate.” Nevertheless, its findings shed light on students’ experiences (with some limitations noted below) and show why such an anti-LGBTQ climate is not in the best interests of our nation’s children.
Student Experiences: Harassment and Safety
While the percentages of students reporting negative experiences are high, the much lower levels (in most cases) of students who said these experiences happen frequently or often are at least a little heartening. (Ideally, the numbers should all be zero, of course.)
- A whopping 87% of students surveyed reported hearing negative comments about LGBTQ+ parents in general; 80% heard them about their family in particular. Among the latter, 14% reported that this happened “frequently” or “often.”
- 70% reported being verbally harassed at school and 65% reported being physically harassed (shoved, pushed, etc.) at some point because of having an LGBTQ+ parent. Of those, 21% said this was frequently or often.
- 62% reported being physically assaulted (punched, kicked, or injured with a weapon) during the 2021-2022 school year because of having an LGBTQ+ parent/caregiver.
Student Experiences: Exclusion
- Almost all (97%) felt excluded from a school or classroom activity in the past 12 months because of having an LGBTQ+ parent /caregiver. Only about 5% said this happened frequently or often, however.
- 68% felt like school personnel didn’t acknowledge their type of family. This contrasts sharply with the 78% of parents/caregivers who said they (the parent/caregiver) rarely or never felt like school personnel didn’t acknowledge their type of family. (In other words, they felt that the school did acknowledge them.) The report does not explore this difference—but the discrepancy stresses the importance of the study’s dual student-adult perspectives.
- 69% felt discouraged at some point by a teacher, principal, or school staff from talking about their LGBTQ+ parent(s) or family at school. Of those, 14% said it happened frequently or often.
The study also found that students with one or more transgender parent(s)/caregiver(s) were also significantly more likely than those with cisgender parents/caregivers to experience discrimination because of people’s perceptions about their parent(s).
Student Experiences: Mitigating Factors
As other research has long shown, and as the report reminds us, “Supportive school resources are essential buffers to the detrimental effects of hostile school climates.” Overall, most students seem to have had at least some resources available.
- 94% had at least some teachers or other school staff “who were supportive of LGBTQ+ issues.”
- 54% of students said that they were taught “positive things about LGBTQ+ people, history, or events in their classes” during the 2021-2022 school year. On the flip side, 40% said they were taught negative things.
- 48% said their school has a Gender and Sexuality Alliance or other club that addresses LGBTQ+ issues. Of those, 35% said it was “very inclusive” to students with an LGBTQ+ parent/caregiver, 32% said it was “somewhat inclusive,” 27% “somewhat not inclusive,” and 6% “not inclusive.” There’s clearly room for improvement in GSAs to welcome children of LGBTQ+ parents/caregivers who are “culturally queer” even if straight and cisgender.
Parental Experiences
While parents/caregivers reported concerns about their family’s inclusion, they seemed generally a little more positive than the students.
- When asked how often in the past 12 months they felt unable to participate fully in their child’s school community because of being an LGBTQ+ parent, 77% of the parents said they never or rarely felt unable to participate (in other words, they felt able to participate); 16% reported they sometimes felt unable to participate, and 8% said this was often or frequently.
- Of the 58% of parents who said their child told them of experiencing any kind of bullying or harassment, more than half (54%) reported that at least on occasion, the child said it was because they had an LGBTQ+ parent/family. Only 11% said that happened frequently or often, however. (Still too high, but perhaps offering some hope.)
- Overall, 38% of parents/caregivers said their child’s school was very inclusive of their family, 37% said somewhat inclusive, 19% said a little inclusive, and 7% said not at all inclusive. In other words, 75% of parents/caregivers feel their child’s school is very or somewhat inclusive of their family. There’s still room for improvement—but that feels hopeful.
- While only 9% of parents/caregivers said that all teachers and staff were supportive of LGBTQ+ issues, 49% said that most or many were.
- The parents/caregivers also mentioned specific ways in which their family structure was denied, such as forms formatted only for mother/father families or events for only one gender of parent.
Limitations
Participants were recruited in-person and online by the partner organizations and their personal networks. In-person recruitment also happened at Family Equality and COLAGE’s annual Family Week gathering in Provincetown. The parent participants skewed White (80%), educated (more than 60% had at least a college degree), urban/suburban (92%) and cisgender. More than half had household incomes above $100,000. The study authors note, importantly, “It is not a random sample and therefore the results are not generalizable.”
Additionally, they say, there were a higher-than-expected number of students who identified as LGBTQ+ themselves, in addition to having an LGBTQ+ parent/caregiver, perhaps indicating another skew. (Whether this made them more conscious of anti-LGBTQ bias, and thus more inclined to take part in the study, is an open question.) And 14% of participants said they were over 21, which implies an over-representation of older students.
Conclusions and the Future
Despite the limitations, the study clearly shows a need for concern and action about widespread harassment, discrimination, and exclusion of students with LGBTQ+ parents/caregivers at school. Especially given the rise of anti-LGBTQ legislation and rhetoric since the survey was conducted, it seems reasonable to assume (as the study does) that things have gotten worse. And one might reasonably (though unfortunately) assume that families with multiple marginalized identities, although underrepresented here, would likely be even more susceptible to harassment and exclusion.
The study calls for additional steps “to better understand the experiences of students with LGBTQ+ parents and their families” at schools and to make sure they have “a safer and more inclusive environment in which to learn and thrive.” Amen.
I would particularly urge researchers to explore the impact of the harassment and discrimination that students with LGBTQ+ parents/caregivers face. GLSEN’s biennial National School Climate Survey (NSCS), for example, which looks at the experiences of LGBTQ+ students, explores how stigma and exclusion affect students’ grades, missed school, post-secondary plans, and mental health. None of those factors are covered in the report on students with LGBTQ+ families, so we have no sense of the students’ resilience in the face of discrimination.
I would caution us, too, not to envision the school experiences of all students with LGBTQ+ parents/caregivers as ones of misery and stigma. The relatively small percentages of students who frequently had negative experiences offers some hope—although even rare experiences can be damaging (and that frequency may have increased since the time of the study).
I say this mostly so that parents with kids entering school (or newly in middle school) won’t panic; while we have definite reasons to be concerned about how our kids are treated in school, much depends on our specific schools and circumstances. Kids can also sense our own worries, so if we as parents can remain realistic but not panicked, our kids will likely benefit. Be involved with your children’s schools; stay attuned to local politics; and keep the lines of communication with your kids as open as you can. Find supportive communities for LGBTQ parents/caregivers and for your children. These aren’t magic solutions, but they can help.
Finally, let’s remember that it’s not anything inherent to being an LGBTQ parent that is causing our children to be harassed and excluded. It’s the bias and ignorance of other people about our identities and families.
Resources
The report asks people “to celebrate and amplify supportive resources that do exist.” Each of the organizations behind the study offers school-related resources for children with LGBTQ+ parents and caregivers. My own Back-to-School Resources for LGBTQ Parents offers both my own thoughts after seeing my son through 12 years of public school, and a categorized compilation of other resources. I hope you find them useful.
(I have rounded percentages above for ease of reading; I refer you to the report if you want the precise numbers.)
