Today is National Coming Out Day, so I’m going to celebrate in true Mombian fashion and write about coming out while a parent. Parents who come out, it seems to me, fall into two broad camps. One, parents who have been out as LGBT since they became parents, but whose degree of “outness” may be impacted by having children, and two, parents who have had to come out to their children after the children thought they were straight or cis-gendered.
We lesbian moms sure have made our mark. The day after I posted about Roberta Achtenberg being selected as an LGBT History Month Icon, lawyer Mary Bonauto was named one as well. Bonauto is best known as the lead counsel in the historic case that won same-sex couples the right to marry in Massachusetts.
It’s LGBT History Month, and one of the icons being celebrated by the Equality Forum is lesbian mom Roberta Achtenberg, a commissioner of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights, the first openly gay presidential appointee confirmed by the Senate, and cofounder of the National Center for Lesbian Rights. Here’s a short clip Equality Forum did about her;
My son is going through a Pokémon phase, spending hours playing the collectable-card game and reading about the mythical characters. Not all myths are fun and games, however. Below is a baker’s dozen of myths about LGBT parents and our children, all harmful in various ways.
This week’s pick isn’t from the perspective usually found here, of a mother. Instead, writer Felix Jay at Elixher tells us of the importance of mothers in the broad sense, and how finding “a den of mothers” helped her in her coming out process. It’s a great piece that speaks to the importance of sharing wisdom across the generations.
I first posted this anonymous survey about parenting names a year ago, and over 130 of you responded. Many of you use the classic “Mommy” and “Mama,” but some use “Baba,” “Eema,” “Lala,” “Maman,” “MaPa,” “Mutti,” “Big Mommy,” “Mimo,” “Cita,” “Anya,” and others. I wanted to post the survey again to encourage others to contribute, and to urge those of you who already have to take a look at all the glorious ways we structure and name our families.
One of the most common arguments against same-sex parents is that “all children need a mother and a father.” But some LGBT parents are making the argument that being a mother or a father is not necessarily correlated to being female or male—regardless of one’s gender identity.
Please welcome to the blogosphere Charlotte and Betsy, who recently launched one of the best-titled blogs I’ve seen in a while: Turkey Baster and Bottle of Wine. Their subtitle clarifies: “On being a queer, non-gestational parent.”
Florida Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll responded to accusations that she had an affair with a female aide by stating, “Usually black women that look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.” Responses from the LGBT community have been both strong and clever.
New results from the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS), the longest-running and largest study of American lesbian families, have shown that the lack of male role models “did not adversely affect the psychological adjustment of 17-year-old teens raised in lesbian-headed households.” The findings directly address one of the key criticisms leveled at same-sex parents: that the lack of role models of both genders will somehow hurt children’s well-being and development.
