Hattie Hates Hugs

A sweet book with an important message about consent, Hattie Hates Hugs opens with the titular Hattie on her way to a family reunion. She would be excited about seeing her favorite relatives—except that she knows they will all try to hug her, and Hattie hates hugs.

Indeed, two relatives try to hug her without asking, and her discomfort is clear. Then she sees the rest of her relatives standing between her and the horseshoe pit, all hugging or holding hands (including one two-dad couple). What to do?

She goes to join Great-Grandma, who is sitting alone on a bench. When a swarm of relatives descends to hug Hattie, however, Great-Grandma holds out her hand and says “Stop” in a “loud and firm” voice. Everyone stops. She then explains to Hattie that she doesn’t like hugs either, even from people she loves. “It’s okay to tell people you don’t want to be touched,” she assures Hattie. “You can back away or hold your hand up and say ‘No, thank you. I don’t like hugs.’” If they persist, “tell someone you trust, like your mom. Or me.”

Hattie worries this will be hard, but returns to the reunion. Indeed, another group of relatives tries to hug her—but Hattie holds out her hand like Great-Grandma did, shakes her head no, and says, “I hate hugs.”

The relatives stop. Hattie worries that she’s been “too loud or too forceful.” They are all okay with her actions, however. She waves at them and they wave back. At the horseshoe pit, her favorite uncle tells her that he heard she doesn’t like hugs. Hattie tells him a high-five is sometimes okay, and gives him one. In the end, she has a great time, connecting with her relatives “Without a single hug.”

While the LGBTQ content in this book is slight, I am including it in this database because I’ve had parents ask me for books about consent, and I like this book’s simple and straightforward message. Consent around other types of touching and other body parts is important, too (and there are books for that), but as a place to start, this feels like a good one.

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