He’s My Mom!: A Story for Children Who Have a Transgender Parent or Relative

The child protagonist introduces readers to their mom, a transgender man, and their fun and loving life together.

A companion (but standalone) book to the author-illustrator pair’s She’s My Dad, following a similar story arc but this time starring a child with a mom who is a transgender man. Benjamin (who goes by Bambi) and their mom are getting ready to go on the annual camping trip of all the men in their family. (We only ever see Bambi’s mom; we don’t know if they have another parent.)

Only after several pages does Bambi explain that their mom David “used to be a she but now he is a he” after doing something called “transition,” which involved taking medicine to make his voice deeper and wearing different clothes. While this was scary at first, David reassured Bambi that “I will always be your mom and I will always love you very much.”  Bambi tells readers that while David uses he/him pronouns, he likes it when Bambi calls him either Mom or David. Now, David smiles and laughs a lot more, Bambi observes. Part of their mom’s transition involved going to the hospital for surgery, but Bambi says that even though their mom’s outsides changed, “inside he’s still my mom.”

While camping, Bambi gently corrects a cousin who uses the wrong pronoun for David, explaining that it took them a while to get used to the pronouns, too. The book ends with a joyous image of Bambi and their mom hugging as Bambi proudly says, “He’s my mom!”

Garcia’s simple, bold, illustrations pop with color and keep the focus on the characters, who are all drawn with medium-toned skin, dark hair, and dark eyes. A Reader’s Guide offers a glossary and questions for discussion, like: “Why is it important to use the right pronouns when speaking about someone?” Bambi’s gender is never stated in the main story, but one of the discussion questions at the end uses “they,” so I’ll follow that; the publisher’s website uses “he.”

Savage, a writer and transgender advocate, has written a book that manages to be both explanatory and upbeat. Bambi’s explanation of their mom’s gender identity comes from a place of pride, confidence, and love. Too many picture books, even ones that are ultimately supportive, have explained LGBTQ lives only after someone questions or demeans them. (Another book that also takes a positive approach is Gayle Pitman’s My Maddy, about a child with a nonbinary parent.)

As I said about She’s My Dad, He’s My Mom, we should just remember that not all trans parents will use the parental titles depicted here; some might choose not to have gender affirming surgery; and some might be parenting with a spouse or partner of any gender, to list only a few possibilities. That is in no way a criticism of either book; I appreciate Savage’s focus on one family at a time. We simply need even more books that show trans parents—even as we should be glad to have this one.

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