It’s So Amazing! A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families

Robie H. Harris’ It’s So Amazing has long been a bestselling (and frequently challenged/banned) book on human reproduction and families, aimed at children from ages 7 to 10 years who are not quite ready for her book on puberty, It’s Perfectly Normal. This latest edition of It’s So Amazing! is more LGBTQ inclusive than ever, and worth getting if you have liked previous iterations, but there are still places where gendered language is used, and some places where LGBTQ-related terminology could be further clarified.

Overview

The new edition keeps its predecessors’ heavily illustrated, graphic-novel style, with humorous side commentary by the cartoon characters Bird and Bee. Bird seems to enjoy learning about the topics; Bee is more reluctant. Together they reflecting some of the emotions that young readers may also be feeling.

Content includes the reproductive body parts different people have; how babies are made; gender identity; what “sexual intercourse” is (with examples of both same- and different-sex couples), what love is (again, with diverse examples, along with definitions of “straight,” “gay,” “lesbian,” “bisexual,” and related terms), masturbation, consent and sexual abuse, conception, pregnancy, and fetal development, assisted reproduction, adoption, staying healthy, and more. The images are explicit at times, showing genitalia and breasts, but never feel prurient; they clarify the text and are relevant to the topic.

The book tries to be LGBTQIA inclusive from the start, noting that “Most babies are born with female body parts or male body parts,” but that “Some babies are born with a mixture of male and female body parts” and this is called “intersex.” This is true, and the inclusion is welcome, although it isn’t a full definition of what it means to be intersex. (Sometimes intersex people have only hormonal or chromosomal differences without outer physical manifestations.) A later chapter does note that chromosomes may be one reason some people are born intersex. Overall, though, this is a huge improvement from the 2014 edition, which said simply that “Girls’ bodies … and women’s bodies all have female parts…. Boys’ bodies … and men’s bodies all have male parts,” with no hint that it is even possible to be intersex or transgender.

When “most boys” grow up, the new edition adds, their bodies will produce sperm; “most girls” will produce eggs. “Most girls” also have female body parts and “most boys” have male ones. Transgender identities are not mentioned here, although the text is clearly leaving room for them, but they are discussed in a later chapter.

Another chapter explains that sex can be about “loving, caring and touching,” and it can also be how “a person with a penis and a person with a vagina” make a baby. This involves “sexual intercourse,” when they “hug and cuddle and kiss and feel very loving,” and get so close that penis goes into vagina. We see an image of two such people in a bed, covered by a blanket.

The new edition also explains that “another kind of sexual intercourse” can happen when the sexual parts of two people with female bodies or two people with male bodies touch. The image here shows two people who read as female, also in a bed covered by a blanket. One has her arm around the other, and there are cartoon hearts above them. Two pages later, we see an image of two men hugging in bed, and another image of two women doing the same. Earlier editions did not show images of same-sex couples in bed and only explained sexual intercourse in terms of male-female pairs. As in the 2014 edition, this one emphasizes that kids are much too young for sexual intercourse, and it has an entire chapter on consent.

The book has always felt particularly strong in its explanations of the physiology of baby making and fetal development, exploring what a fetus may sense in the womb, what a pregnant person may feel, how the different kinds of twins are created, the birthing process (including cesarean birth and what a “preemie” is), chromosomes and genes, HPV, and HIV/AIDS. For science-minded readers, there’s a lot of great detail here, helpfully illustrated and simplified for the age group.

Gender and Sexuality

This edition has a whole new chapter dedicated to gender. Gender, we learn, is the thoughts and feelings we have about whether we are a girl or boy, or “a mixture of genders, or one gender some of the time and another gender at other times.” The book even observes that sometimes, parents may choose not to give their child a gender label until the child is older “and can decide for themselves what they feel and know their gender is.” It also notes that some states and cities are allowing people to use “X” as a gender marker if they don’t want their gender known as M or F. That’s all well and good—but I find it odd that the term “nonbinary” is never actually used, despite being essentially defined.

We learn about what it means to be “cisgender” or “transgender” and that “Some people who were labeled female at birth may not feel or figure out or know that they are male until they are older.” The book also helpfully explains that “Someone who is transgender may change the way they dress or their name to match the gender they know they really are,” and may also change the words they want to be called by, such as “she,” “he,” or “they.” Importantly, it stresses that “who you are is the person you feel you are,” no matter what anyone else says.

The book’s definitions of “straight,” “gay,” “lesbian,” “bisexual,” “pansexual,” “homosexual,” and “heterosexual” are welcome, but I have a few quibbles. “Gay” is defined as “A male who is sexually attracted to another male and who may fall in love with another male.” “Lesbian” is defined identically, swapping in “female,” and “straight” is the same, with a female and male. I find it odd that in every case, only the falling in love aspect uses the conditional “may,” whereas the sexual attraction part is definitive. Especially given the age range this book is targeting, I would have talked equally about emotional, romantic, and physical [or sexual] attraction (like the GLAAD Media Reference Guide does), especially since many young people have crushes and romantic attractions long before ever thinking of sex. It’s worth noting, too, that asexuality is not mentioned at all here—and nowhere does the book say that “homosexual” (defined here as a synonym for lesbian or gay) is now considered an offensive term.

The book inclusively uses “pregnant person” in numerous places, but reverts to gendered language in others, referring at times only to “women” or a “mother” in relation to pregnancy. The many images of pregnant people in the book are all of those who read as women. Similarly, the section on breastfeeding only uses the term “mother’s breasts.” For many children, that language and imagery will work; those with transgender or nonbinary parents, however, may still balk at some places. The only obviously trans or gender nonconforming people depicted in the book are in the chapter on gender; same-sex couples, however, appear in several places that discuss sex, love, and family.

One page talks about “fathers, partners, and sometimes other family members and friends” who help with birth; another says that “the baby’s father, a partner, or a good friend” may hold the baby as it is being born. I would have said “other parent” instead of or in addition to “father,” however, especially since I think that fewer of us queer folks are using “partner” now that we can marry and be spouses.

Assisted Reproduction and Birth Control

The book laudably explains that sometimes egg and sperm are not able to meet, and this is when “two people” may choose to adopt or to use methods other than sexual intercourse. The “two people” are inclusively specified as male and female, two females, or two males, but unfortunately the book leaves out intentional single parents here (although single parents are mentioned elsewhere). We then learn how doctors can either place sperm into the vagina with a syringe or help sperm and egg to meet in a special dish, after which the combined cell is placed in the uterus—a pretty good, age-appropriate explanation of assisted reproduction.

Birth control is mentioned as a way for a person with a penis and one with a vagina not to make a baby when they have sex. There is not a full exploration of options, just a little about condoms and the pill; this is probably sufficient for the age group, however. (It’s Perfectly Normal goes into more.)

Families

A chapter on families, similar to the previous edition, explores the many types of family structures, not only ones with LGBTQ parents, but also those with divorced parents, single parents, foster parent, stepparents, or grandparents who are primary caregivers, among many variations. Adoption gets several pages of explanation, and the book notably mentions that people may adopt because they can’t give birth—but also even if they can. We also learn that a person may adopt to become the other parent to a baby born to their partner.

In Summary

This latest edition of It’s So Amazing! carries on the frank, accurate, and helpful information of the previous editions and is more LGBTQ inclusive than ever, though it still falls back on gendered language at times, and is very limited in its depiction of identifiably trans or nonbinary people. For pure LGBTQ inclusivity, I prefer Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth’s What Makes a Baby? (though it is aimed at slightly younger children) and Sex Is a Funny Word. It’s So Amazing! offers more in the way of physiological detail, however. If I have been critical above, it is because I really do like the book and its thorough yet age-appropriate approach. This edition is a welcome and more inclusive improvement upon the previous edition, and I hope a subsequent edition will be even more so.

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