In this title from A. J. Sass, one of the leading authors of LGBTQ-inclusive middle grade books, Shai, a 13-year-old nonbinary, genderfluid student, wants to establish a “new normal” to address their anxiety and their repeated hair picking—but when their careful plans are upset, they are set on a path of discovering things about their family, friends, and self, and learning to handle uncertainty and change.
Shai began picking their hair after their single mom lost her job and the two of them had to move in with the Martels—Shai’s best friend Moose, his brother, and their single dad—right before the pandemic lockdown. Shai is smart enough to know things have to change, and thinks they can figure out a solution on their own.
Their plan includes getting a new haircut that expresses who they are; coming out as nonbinary to more than just their mother, grandparents, and the Martels; and attending eighth grade at public school instead of being homeschooled. Shai gets placed into ninth grade instead of eighth, however, which brings up new concerns about keeping up and fitting in.
Although they soon make two new friends—Nia, who has two dads and Edie, who is a lesbian—and have come out as pansexual to them, they haven’t quite figured out how to come out as nonbinary, especially after developing a crush on Edie. If Edie’s attraction is to women, would she ever be interested in Shai?
Moose, for his part, still helps Shai by sewing colorful sleeves for their lower arms (which, unbeknownst to him, help them control their picking)—but he’s also becoming more distant now that the two are no longer homeschooling together. He’s dealing with his own problems, too, like his brother calling him “girly” and asking if he’s gay because he likes fashion.
When a school project requires Shai to write about something they have a personal connection to and that gives them pride, they hesitate to write about LGBTQ Pride, which would require coming out. They decide instead to write about their Jewish identity, which might also let them write about Judaism’s views of gender diversity. They’ve had minimal connection to Judaism, however, since their mom is oddly reluctant to talk about her Jewish upbringing. Shai tries to learn more about Jewish culture and ritual, and even attends services at their grandparents’ Reform temple, but this raises even more questions about belonging and about their family history. And an act of vandalism at the temple only adds to Shai’s anxieties. Will Shai ever find their new normal?
A. J. Sass consistently gives us middle grade books that explore their protagonists’ queerness and intersecting identities in thoughtful and original ways, and this one is no exception. I particularly appreciate that Shai is neither completely closeted nor completely out—a liminal status that many youth may experience and that Sass explores with nuance.
Sass, who notes in an afterward that he, too, used to pick his hair, handles Shai’s hair picking (trichotillomania) with understanding. At the risk of slight spoilers, I’ll note that although Shai initially tries to address their hair picking on their own, the book ultimately models why it is important to ask for help and find support.
I have just a couple of quibbles related to Jewish practice—one would neither wear a tallit (prayer shawl) nor parade with the Torah during the Rosh Hashanah evening service; these are morning service practices. (I’ve checked this with a Reform rabbi I know.) Those are minor points, however, and do not take away from the overall story or its themes.
A recommended title with thoughtful, multifaceted characters.
Shai and their family are White; the Martels are Indigenous (Kanien’Kehá:ka); Nia is Asian, with one Asian dad and one White dad, and Edie is White. Other queer representation in the book includes a teacher who is pansexual.
