Picture books about different types of families are increasingly common, but Carolyn Choi, LaToya Council, and Chelsea Johnson, all women of color who met through their doctoral program in sociology, have given us a take on the subject that feels particularly varied and intersectional, with a rarer—and emphatic—acknowledgment of chosen families.
In bouncy rhymes, the book begins by asserting that everyone’s family is special, with a foundation of love. It then showcases different families on the subsequent pages—including a Black, two-mom family as an example of a “nuclear family”; a blended, multiracial family with two dads; a child whose parents are marrying after they became parents (also at the wedding are an abuela and an auntie); a child looking forward to being a big sibling; a child born in Korea and adopted by a family in the U.S.; and a family with a White, Jewish dad and a Black mom (religion unspecified), who celebrate both Passover and Juneteenth, “our freedom holidays.”
We also see families separated in various ways: a child living with a grandmother while her nanay (mother) works overseas to support them; a child whose dad is deployed overseas with the Army; a child graduating and phoning her biggest supporter—her dad, who is incarcerated; a child with divorced parents who spends time with each of them. One spread also shows a family sitting in a cemetery, missing an (unspecified) loved one. Unlike many other books about families, this one even acknowledges that “Sometimes the family we’re born into doesn’t make us feel how we want to.” At those times, the book tells us, “our closest friends” step in to help as “our chosen family can make us whole.”
The book affirms that “family” means “the people who love us and make us feel seen”—the people who are there for us, caring and giving us the “space to be free.” It adds, “No family ever fits the norm,” noting that while “bullies and laws can make us feel shame,” every family is important.
Reiterated at the end, and at key points throughout the book, is the joyous exclamation, “We are a family! We love without bounds!”
Throughout, the illustrations by Ashley Seil Smith offer additional tidbits about the various families, shedding light on their identities and cultures—signs indicating people’s names offer clues as to heritage; the two-mom family has banners and wears shirts indicating the moms are alums of Spelman College, a historically Black college. Extensive backmatter includes a Discussion Guide, with additional information about the family types depicted, key terms (like “extended family,” “generation,” “separation,” and “ancestors”), and notes about key points in family history and laws related to them. For example, we learn more about Juneteenth and Passover; the Supreme Court rulings Loving v. Virginia and Obergefell v. Hodges; the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965 (which ended limits on non-White immigrants to the U.S.); and the “Negro National Anthem,” or “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” quoted on one page. The guide also suggests helpful discussion questions for adults to pose to young readers. My only tiny criticism is that the backmatter says that Obergefell v. Hodges recognized “LGBTQ+ marriages.” Actually, it recognized “same-sex marriages.” (A bi man and a bi woman could have married long before that, say, as could various combinations of different-gender trans people, or trans people and other queer people, depending on the state and their legally recognized genders.) That’s a small point, however, and does not detract from the rest of the book. A bibliography for grown-ups is cleverly done via an illustration of stacks of books, each one an important essay or volume on race, class, parenting, gender, intersectionality, and other aspects of social justice.
Like the first book by these authors, Intersectionallies: We Make Room for All, this one has a clear pedagogical purpose, this time to show both the love and variety in all families. With authors as scholarly and skilled as these, though, that’s a good thing. At a time when some states and localities are attempting to ban books and teachings about LGBTQ people, people of color, and intersectionality, this book shows that such topics aren’t a matter of some outside “agenda” being pushed upon kids, but that they reflect and support the identities of kids and their families themselves.
Parents, teachers, and others should welcome this thoughtful volume.
