Backed by the authority of the Mayo Clinic, this volume offers detailed information about everything from healthy habits to the physiology of conception and infertility, the various methods of assisted reproduction, and more. It is aimed at a general audience, but includes a dedicated chapter for single, trans, and gender-diverse parents-to-be, along with same-sex couples, with some additional information for LGBTQ people throughout.
Readers interested in the science behind the subject matter will particularly appreciate this volume. There’s a lot here, clearly explained for laypeople, and illuminated with real-life stories from people who have faced various fertility situations and challenges. A chapter at the end also looks at what happens when fertility options do not work out for someone, and they must consider options like adoption or child-free living.
The chapter specific to single and LGBTQ+ parents is both affirming and informative, asserting, “Your success as a parent will have less to do with your family structure and more to do with the nurturing relationship you create with your child…. Love makes for strong families. It’s science.” The chapter goes over options for both female and male couples (referring to sex, not gender, here), using either known or unknown donor gametes. Notably, it also mentions the possibility of reciprocal IVF (one partner’s egg, the other’s womb), an option that not every guide includes (but was how my own spouse and I started our family).
Language in the section for trans and nonbinary people is inclusive of all genders (e.g., “those born with a uterus and ovaries”), although this inclusive language does not carry through the rest of the book, which is often gendered. And while the book rightly notes, “an important first step is to look for a provider who puts you at ease,” there is no information, even in the Additional Resources at the end, on how one might go about finding such a person. (My answer: Check out the LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory and/or the Directory of Trans-Affirming Care.)
The book also states, “By definition, infertility means not being able to get pregnant despite having appropriately time, unprotected sex for at least a year”—but that’s an older definition (though still used in many places). The American Society for Reproductive Medicine promulgated a more LGBTQ- and single-parent inclusive definition in late 2023. I’m guessing that this book was already headed to press by that time. While not binding on anyone, ASRM definitions are often looked to as standards; you should know that the newer definition exists and you may be able to point to it if you run into difficulties with insurance coverage or the like.
Overall, though, the information for LGBTQ people here feels accurate and supportive, although it does not get into the level of detail about LGBTQ-specific issues and questions like an LGBTQ-specific guide, such as Baby Making for Everybody, Queer Conception, or other recent titles, and does not use gender-inclusive language throughout. It also doesn’t offer the depth of thoughtful information and questions that the aforementioned titles do for LGBTQ people considering whether to pursue parenthood and pregnancy in the first place.
For general physiological information, however, it is second to none, and LGBTQ people may still find it useful as a reference if they can overlook some of the phrases and passages aimed at straight, cisgender couples (though if you can’t, I respect that choice). It is a significant step forward that a mainstream fertility guide has made a legitimately good effort to include LGBTQ families, even if you’ll probably want to read some of the LGBTQ-specific titles as well.
